Eddy quotes from Ed, Edd n Eddy

Ed

THE GOAT ATE SARAH! THE GOAT ATE MY SISTER!

Eddy

Ed looking for the goat?

Edd

I think he found it.

Edd

Eddy, you should have told the truth!

Eddy

Truth, schmooth; we're off the hook, aren't we?

Eddy

[blearily] Who turned off the sun?

Edd

Good, you awake. We have a problem, Eddy.

Edd

Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all its good people of their food!

Eddy

Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that.

Ed

How's it look, Eddy?

Eddy

Ed, you put the sign on upside-down.

Ed

No Eddy, I put the sign on the garage.

Eddy

Just flip it over, Ed.

Ed

Flip it? Got it.

Edd

Ah...I think I'm ready to tackle anything with my fine assortment of short and long, hard and soft hairbrushes.

Ed

[flips the entire garage over] I flipped it, Eddy.

Edd

Well, I can read it.

Eddy

Ed's Pet 'Boutick' is open for business.

Eddy

Anything good on Double D?

Edd

Ooh there's a documentary on mollusks.

Ed

Boring. How about 'Bob: Defender of the Bunion People'?

Eddy

Is this thing on?

Edd

Eddy, just speak into the mic.

Eddy

What, this?

Edd

Yes.

Eddy

Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 fingers Eddward.

Edd

This instrument is so annoying.

Eddy

Ed! Fire up the engine!

Ed

Roger walnut, Eddy! Jumping. [jumps down, rocking the boat, and puts his lower half in the water again] Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet.

Eddy

Faster, Ed!

Lee

I wanna be their barnacle of love.

May

Barnacle.

Lee

No hard feelings, buttercups.

May

Let's kiss and make up.

Jimmy

[points upward] Oh look!

Marie

That kid's ripping our sail!

Jimmy

Just like Errol Flynn.

Lee

Those were my best bed-sheets. Time for the heavy artillery. [pulls out her hairpin] Sink 'em, May.

May

[putting the pin in a rubber band] Lee, my patch.

Jimmy

Look! Jonny! Save us!

Eddy

I'm the captain here, I'll handle it. Oh look, a bobby pin. So scary. [starts to pull it out]

Edd

Eddy, please don't-

Eddy

What? It's just stuck. [pulls it out. Holding up the hairpin] See?

Rolf

Hello, Ed-boys. When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat. [Edd hands him the deflated inner tube] What? Huh?

Edd

I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable.

Eddy

Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress.

Ed

I'm stumped.

Jimmy

[floating by in the background] Hair emergency! Hair emergency!

Eddy

What we have here...is a squirt gun.

Edd

Please. A 'squirt gun'?

Eddy

Yeah. A Canadian squirt gun.

Ed

Canadians are weird.

Eddy

Ed! What are you doing in my bed?

Ed

I can't sleep, Eddy. I keep thinking; how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?

Eddy

Ed, get out of my room!

Ed

Ow, my buttocks hurt. [looks at the lava lamp] Why does goo float?

Eddy

Hit the road! [Ed eats it] Wha? My lamp!

Ed

Eddy, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter? Eddy, when you close the fridge door, does the little light stay on?

Eddy

Go home!

Ed

Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. [in the morning] Eddy, carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?

Eddy

If you're gonna strain your peanut brain think of something more important. Like...how to get your face on a dollar bill.

Ed

Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?

Eddy

Uh, Double D up yet?

Eddy

HEY DOUBLE D!

Edd

Eddy, you know I hate that! Oh, hello, Ed.

Eddy

[pulling out a bra from an old dresser] Woo hoo. PG-13.

Ed

That's my mom's, Eddy.

Eddy

Didja see that? Weird. Oh well, can't beat em, eat em. [bites into the sun and it turns into a crescent moon] Not bad.

Jimmy

Jumping Jehoshaphat, who turned out the sun?