Eddy quotes from Ed, Edd n Eddy

Eddy

Let's see here. Con-she-enn-shus? What kinda bunk word is that? Ohhhh. Here's another one. Temper-a-mental. I dunno about you, but that's just plain stupid.

Edd

STOP!!!!!! I will not tolerate your single-handed annihilation of the English language for your own monetary gain, Eddy!

Ed

Don't touch that dial, kids!

Edd

Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.

Kevin

Bummer.

Eddy

You heard the man.

Edd

Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?

Ed

The sky is falling! The sky is falling, Eddy! It hit me on the head. It did.

Eddy

You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.

Edd

We hit the sky?! [the sky cracks] This isn't possible!

Eddy

Ed was right, the sky is falling.

Ed

Thank you very much.

Eddy

So, now what do we do?

Edd

I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.

Eddy

[offscreen] Go on, get in there.

Edd

Um...good morrow to thee. I'm about to share with thou fellow villagers the tale of Fort Peach Creek. Let us–begin, shall we?

Sarah

I hate public access.

Edd

A long time ago, Peach Creek was buteth an untamed wilderness of towering trees, torrid waters, and savage beasts!

Ed

Cock-a-doodle doo! I am a salvaged moose! Bleaugh!

Edd

Oh, regardeth over the horizon, for the hero of our epic tale doth approach!

Eddy

I have come from afar and shall claim this wilderness as our own! Hark ye, o' savage moose, moveth along, or be turned into moose chops! Hear ye?

Ed

This landeth is your landeth o' great shorteth one.

Eddy

Yes, this land is fulleth of peachy fuzzy fruits, and for this reason I claimeth this place as Fort Peach Creek!

Edd

And...there...you'll...haveth...it.

Ed

Cock-a-doodle doo!

Eddy

HEY! HE'S! HAD! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Beat it.

Ed

Good one, Eddy.

Eddy

Vultures.

Eddy

It's mine! Gimme my donut! I saw it first!

Edd

Eddy, calm down. You know you're only encouraging him. Oh, Eddy. Now look what you've done!

Ed

YOWCH!

Edd

Goodness gracious! Have you two no respect for the sanctum of school property? Honestly, I– Oh, um, I withdraw my last statement. No harm done, yes?

Eddy

What you got there?

Edd

Nothing. Righto. Let's say we make our way to–

Eddy

School dance, tonight? How'd we miss this?

Edd

Isn't it a shame? Why, if only we had known sooner. Oh well. There's always next year.

Eddy

Only losers stay home on a school dance night, and we ain't losers. Right, Ed?

Ed

Sure ain't, Eddy.

Eddy

Check this out.

Edd

"Win a date with Eddy! Sign up here!"? You're not seriously thinking of going to this- Do you realize that it's customary for a boy to ask a girl to attend?!

Sarah

[To Jonny] I'D RATHER DATE A FROG, BALDY!

Jonny

Whaddya mean I shoulda ate a breathmint, Plank?

Eddy

Asking's for chumps, Double D. My brother told me really cool guys ride solo, so they ain't stuck with the same chick all night. C'mon! I got something that'll knock your socks off!

Ed

Missed too many laundry days for that, Eddy. My socks and me are as one.

Edd

GOOD LORD! Stinky stinky stinky.

Nazz

Way to bust a move, Double D. Let's twist.

Eddy

Hey, that's my move he busted. He didn't even want to be here.

Nazz

Like this, Double D. Let's boogie! Whee!

Eddy

[To Kevin] Way to get burned, Shovelhead.

Lee

You gonna let that hussy steal your man, Marie?

Marie

[grabbing Eddy] Get up, shorty. We're dancing. Quick, he's looking. Make like an octopus and suck face.

Ed

Wilfred sure has some fancy footwork, huh, Jonny?

Rolf

Ed-boy, you have broken the customary laws of Rolf's traditions. You must first ask permission if you shimmy-shake the swine. Have you no shame?

May

Hey!

Lee

Get your claws off my man, Marie.

May

"How 'bout you get your claws off my man, boyfriend-stealer!

Jimmy

Okay, I get it now, Sarah. [tries to make one] I pulled my funny bone, Sarah.

Ed

Hibachi Man makes his daring escape! The Barbecue Belly Slide!

Sarah

Ed! You idiot! You lunkhead! Look what you did to Jimmy!

Eddy

[laughing] You're a laugh and a half, Ed!

Edd

Goodness! You really should exercise more caution, Ed.

Ed

That'll make my thighs burn, Double D.

Edd

If only someone could address the true reality of wintertime hazards. We would all be much more–

Eddy

Not that again. Nobody wanted to hear about it last year, or the one before that and no one wants to hear about your stupid safety club idea this year.

Jimmy

Safety club? No more winter owies?

Eddy

Better make a will, Ed.

Edd

I believe that if a few thoughtful safety guidelines were set into play, winter would be a much safer time of year for all.

Jimmy

Tell me more, Double D.

Jimmy

You better not drop that.

Eddy

What is it?

Ed

A poopdeck?

Edd

Not quite, Ed. This is an official Safety Club de-icer machine. Using the salt off of discarded cafeteria pretzels, we can render treacherous icy footpaths safe.

Ed

Salt is like magic.

Edd

Ironic, isn't it? Us being singled out as a liability.

Eddy

What the–? My tongue's stuck to the stupid ice, and I gotta go to the bathroom!

Ed

Do not fear, Eddy! Hibachi Man is here! Right, Double D?

Edd

Yes. Release this tongue-troubled citizen with your blast-furnace breath, Hibachi Man.

Eddy

Hey! Wait a minute, Ed! Hey, I don't gotta go anymore.