Dewey Duck quotes from DuckTales (2017)

[as the Demon Dog claws at the door] We need a distraction! [grabs the bag from Dewey]

Dewey

Hey, give it back!

[emptying the bag's contents on the ground] Louie, hold the door open! I'll set the scarf on fire and throw it out as a decoy!

Dewey

[taking the scarf away] No! You can't!

What is wrong with you?!

Why are you being super weird?! This is a bad time to be weird!

Dewey

... Because it belongs to mom!

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How do you know this is mom's?

Dewey

I've, uh, kinda been researching her on my own. A little. I mean, I just searched a forbidden library, crashed the Sunchaser, talked to the goddess Selene- okay, you know, hearing it out loud, it comes off way worse than it sounded in my brain.

How could you keep this from us?!

Dewey

I was trying to protect you from a potentially devastating revelation.

Or you just kept it to yourself so you can feel special! Classic Dewey! She's our mom!

Dewey

Okay, it's just- First, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get hurt. Then I couldn't tell you because I found out all this stuff and I didn't want you to hurt me! I'm sorry, okay?

You're only sorry, 'cause you got caught!

[they notice Louie holding the uniform, visibly upset]

Dewey

Louie, you okay?

You kept a secret about mom. That is not okay.

[Dewey shifts his head down sadly]

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Dewey

I should have told you from the beginning. Good or bad, we're all in this together. [grabs the note] Well, I guess we're all starting from scratch.

Wait. Did you rub a pencil over this?

Dewey

Buh?

Have I taught you nothing? Junior Woodchuck Rule 217, rub all documents with a pencil.

[rubs the note with a pencil to reveal a strange design]

Dewey

[gasp] The Spear of Selene! Now we know what it looks like!

Is that a date circled?

April 15th, 20- guys, this is the week we were born!

Dewey

What does that mean?

We'll find out together.

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Come on, Uncle Donald! You can fix the houseboat when we get back.

Uh-uh. I'm almost done. We'll be on the water again in two days!

[an offscreen crash is heard]

Seven days...

[an explosion is seen from behind the mansion]

[sighs] I should get started...

Dewey

No rush!

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[after Scrooge tells them how their mother vanished]

Dewey

[angry] Cool... so you're the reason our mom is gone!

[shocked] What? No! I..I--

[the plane begins to lean forward] Um, guys?

Dewey

You built her a crazy dangerous super rocket!

Which she stole early!

Then you encouraged her to keep flying through a cosmic storm? You could have called her down, there were too many variables!

Now boys, you don't know....

And you're the richest duck in the world! Why didn't you send up more ships to look for her?

[growing frustrated] I spared no expense!

Dewey

[coldly] Yeah, right. Cheap old Scrooge probably bailed as soon as it put a dent in his money bin.

[the plane leans further] Um, guys?

Webby

Take it easy Dewey, he may have a point. Even if gifting an experimental rocket to a mother of three was clearly a terrible idea!

This is a family matter! You are not family!

See here, McDuck. You will not speak to my granddaughter that way.

You will not speak to me that way! None of you! After everything I do for you, you're all nothing but trouble!

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[as Scrooge remembers his efforts to find Della after her accident, as well as everyone's accusations after he told them]

...you're the richest duck in the world! Why didn't you send up more ships to look for her?

Then you encouraged her to keep flying through a cosmic storm? ... You'd could have called her down, there were too many variables!

Dewey

...so you're the reason our mom is gone! ... Cheap old Scrooge probably bailed as soon as it put a dent in his money bin

Well, you've successfully pushed your family and everyone who cared about you away... again. I hope you're happy.

[tearing up] ...I am.

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Wait... where's Dewey?! [about to rush off, only to see him sitting on the stairs]

Dewey

[bitter] Nope. Right here. Not stealing the boat. [puts on his life vest]

Oh.

Dewey

Yep. Back to the good ol' days. Woo-oo.

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[presenting the boys with pie] Apple shortbread pie, with a scoop of sea salt ice cream. A common farewell dessert in certain parts.

Dewey

Finally, some real food.

[takes the pie away] Oh, I'm so sorry. This was Scrooge's favorite dessert. I don't want to remind you of that horrid man who lost your mother all those years ago, even if it was an accident that tore him up for ten years, propelling him into a desperate search attempt that left him broken, and nearly bankrupt.

Wait, bankrupt? Really?

But I understand. You're upset because you lost one family member, which was terrible and painful, so you decided you should go ahead and lose another. Brilliant. Makes perfect rational sense.

Dewey

[angry] Yeah. Nailed it, Mrs. B.

Yes. Distance yourself even further from his life and forsake family altogether. That will definitely fix it.

No! It'll do the opposite of that!

Perhaps it's worth considering that the reason Scrooge closed himself off was because the loss of Della was the hardest thing he'd ever faced. Harder than any adventure. It's not that he didn't care, it's that he cared about family more than anything in the world. And perhaps he still does. But I'm just the housekeeper. What do I know?

A LOT! THIS LADY KNOWS A LOT!

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Everybody listen up! [unintelligible jabbering]

EEveryone

[beat] What?

Did anyone get any of that?

It's mostly just context clues.

We get like every third word.

Dewey

Nope. Completely unintelligible.

I'LL SHOW YOU UNINTELLIGIBLE!!!

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[after Gyro forcefully gives him the voicebox] Hands off of me [voice is suddenly much clearer] you mad scientist! [beat]

Dewey

Whoa. He sounds so normal.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers, rubber baby buggy bumpers, rubber baby buggy bumpers! [chuckles] Wow! Never been able to say that before! [clears throat] As I was saying, Uncle Scrooge is in trouble, and it's up to us to help him. And adventure is in our blood! We face down perilous foes and endless danger every day, but we always prevail, because these Ducks don't back down!

Thank you, Donald. Now, we need to-

-stage a coordinated attack. Gyro, you and your team will charge the bridge to distract Magica's shadow forces. Launchpad. Head up the air attack to draw her attention. Do you think you can crash into the bin? All right, all right, all right. (clears throat) And Beakley, while the others are distracting Magica, you and I will sneak around back in my newly fixed-up houseboat.

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[Scrooge keeps guessing Donald's pantomimes correctly]

Dewey

Oh, so that's why he picked Donald.

Webby

He spent 30 years guessing what Donald was saying, he must get good at non-verbal communication.

Beakley

Time!

It was a Mermanticore!

[offended] That was a Mermanticore?! THIS is a Mermanticore!

Beakley

Mr. McDuck and Donald scored 34.

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Behold, the final challenge. Scroogeopoly! The thrilling game of finance and property acquisition.

Dewey

The final challenger feels extremely rigged. Your face is literally on the box.

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Now here's the amazing part. The vascular cambium displays three distinct growth rings the exact same distance apart. Factoring out drop deformities, this tree Scrooge found experienced three leap years in a row!

Dewey

[wrapped in a towel while soaking wet; annoyed] You dragged me out of the bath for this? What are you doing now?

Tasting for resin samples. They can… Ow. Splinter.

Dewey

I said, don't interrupt me unless something exciting happens.

What's more exciting than dendrochronology?

Dewey

Ghouls, goblins, time paradoxes, daring quests that will cement our names in history. You get the idea.

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[as his can-phone rings] Do not answer that. [sighs] That can is your Cousin Fethry calling from a top-secret deep-sea laboratory.

Dewey

Top secret?!

Deep-sea laboratory?!

Don't get too excited. Fethry's a bit... well, he's, uh...

He's cuckoo bananas.

Best to ignore it. Every time we get a call from Fethry, we rush down there just to go on some fool's errand wrapped up in a needlessly dangerous adventure. With rambling lectures...

And the explosions...

And avoiding that mega-tsunami...

And the explosions...

All to see a barnacle formation in the shape of a tractor or some such nonsense.

Big waste of time.