[Josh turns off the radio and honks at everyone]
NNikki
Hey, what's going on?
CGCollege Guy
Turn the music back up!
Okay, we have an emergency!
Ah, yes, it seems we have a serious gas leak here in the Drake and Josh Inn!
CGCollege Guy
Oh, uh, sorry, I think that was me.
No! Alright, there is a serious leak of hydro... mono... monoxipuff gas!
Uh, yeah, it makes your eyes bleed!
So if everyone will please leave the building immediately-
NNikki
Yeah! Come on, let's party!
[everyone starts dancing again]
[to Megan, through a walkie talkie] Now!
[in Drake and Josh's room] Copy! [turns on a gas machine linked to the vent in Drake and Josh's room as green gas begins emanating from the vent in the living room to kick out all of the spring breakers before Audrey and Walter come home]
Oh, no! Look! [points to the vent]
[everyone starts screaming and leaves the house when Megan pranks them]
Now, lock it! Now, hug me, brother! [he and Drake hug each other after everyone leaves the house]
[cops arrive after hearing about how the Nicholas-Parkers' house was having a party with college kids on TV]
Yes, officers, can we help you?
CCop
Yes. Sir, do you know it's against the law to host a televised event from a private residence without a city-authorized permit?
We didn't host a televised event.
CCop
Yeah, we have evidence that says you did.
CCop
Come with us, please. [they grab Walter and Audrey]
But, you see, look- I'm a weatherman. [cop shuts the door]
Hello? [finds out that Audrey and Walter left as the episode ends]
[Drake and Josh dress up as burglars and are sneaking inside Megan's room]
Okay, now, look around, find some evidence that proves that she's a demon and then let's get out of here!
Yeah, this place gives me the skives.
Okay. Find anything over there?
Wait, Josh, Josh come here! [picks up Megan's picture]
Check out this family picture!
Will you please stay focused!? [takes Megan's picture away from him] See anything yet? Check in the closet. [Drake opens and checks Megan's closet] See anything in there?
Man, there's nothing in here. It just looks like a normal girl's room.
[hears electrical sound] Oh, you think? [takes unicorn poster off wall to find a spy monitor behind it] Holy cheese! Look at all that equipment!
So this is how she always knows what we're doing! What do you think this button does? [presses button and it shocks Josh's butt]
So that's why that's been happening! I thought it was puberty.
Come on, let's just get this back up. [puts the unicorn poster back on the wall]
When mom and dad come home, we'll show them this stuff then they'll see how Megan really is.
Yeah, yeah. Cause now, we got evidence baby. Come on, let's get out of here. [he and Drake leave Megan's room, but Drake stops by to stare at Megan's picture some more which causes Josh to come back] PUT IT DOWN! [Drake puts Megan's picture down and Josh points to the door so that way he could make Drake leave Megan's room]
[Drake and Josh are both disqualified when they reveal their secret, as Peruvian Puff Peppers are illegal in the United States, leaving Megan as the winner]
[satisfied] What, you think I purposely got the Peruvian Puff Peppers knowing you'd steal them from me and use them in your own salsa? Just so I could point it out to the judges get you disqualified? And then walk away with the Yatsubishi plasma screen TV for myself? Come on. I'm not that smart. [walks away while Drake and Josh look very disappointed]
[Opening comments: Josh is emailing his e-pal from a foreign country while Drake got so thirsty and prank called Josh]
[looks up from a book] Have you ever been really good friends with someone you never even met before?
[looks up from a magazine] Have you ever been really thirsty, just didn't feel like getting up?
See, for over a year now, I've been e-mailing this girl from a foreign country. [telephone starts ringing] 1 sec. [picks up phone] Hello?
[on the phone in a bad accent] Yeah, this is Lieutenant Peterson with the San Diego Police Department.
[skeptical and aware it's actually Drake] Oh is it?
[still using the bad accent] Yeah, you're gonna need to get a can of soda upstairs to your brother, a code 3.
[getting annoyed with Drake] Code this! [blows whistle into the phone receiver loudly as he and Drake hangs the phone up] Anyway, back to my e-pal, Yooka. It's kinda weird to be friends with someone you've never met or even talked to on the phone, but I— [telephone rings again and gets angry revealing that it's Walter on the phone thinking it's Drake] If you call me one more time, I will take an entire bottle of maple syrup and pour it all over your underwear drawer, so for the next 90 days you could walk around with sticky butt!
[confused] Josh, it's your father.
Nice try, you big doof! [hangs up the phone] Man! If he's so thirsty, why can't he go downstairs, go in the kitchen and get himself— [looks and sees Drake sitting on the couch with a soda and realizes his mistake] Oh, jeez.
Heh. So, I got that uh, I got that foreign film ready for ya in Theater 5.
Oh uh, oh okay. Well, um, the thing is we, we decided to see Puppet Fever instead.
Well, that's going to be a little problem. See because, when you asked me to find that movie for you, I, I spent five hours on the phone tracking it down and talking Helen into letting me screen it for you. So, now that I've done all that... [furious] SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE WATCHING ICK GLOKMAH, TONIGHT! OR ELSE SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE AN ORGAN DONOR BEFORE THEIR 17TH BIRTHDAY, JOSH NICHOLS!!!
[to Drake and Yooka] So, I'm going to see Ick Glokmah.
[smiles] You know, you're going to ruin your cuticles.
[stops, unamused] Yeah, you can make jokes. You're still single.
She just wants to stay in America. You might be technically married, but it's not like it's going to change your life.
Yeah, I just need something to get my mind off of it. [sees Allie walk up to the stand] Well hello, something... [walks over and discreetly knocks her purse off the counter, picking it back up] Uh, excuse me? Is this your purse on the floor?
AAllie
[takes it] Yeah, thanks. It must've fallen when I wasn't looking.
Well then, this is your lucky day.
Well, you got your purse back and, I'm free tonight.
AAllie
[flirts] Then it is my lucky day.
YYooka
[walks up behind her] Ahem.
Yooka? What're you doing here?
YYooka
[to Allie] You, you take your eyes off my husband! You skunk bag!
Uh, no, no! You see, I'm not really her husband. We're just married.
AAllie
You're married, and you're hitting on me?!
[sheepishly chuckles] You see, there's a funny story...
[Allie smacks Drake with her purse, as she and her friend storm off into the theater]
Ok, Drake. I just want you to calmly explain to me [yelling] WHY YOU ARE MARRIED TO THAT EUDONAIN GIRL!
Well, you see Josh arranged this-this whole friendship ceremony, but-but it turned to be a marriage ceremony.
What!? Drake's the one that said: [whining] "EE-NAY KURESAI M'JOONGA OON-TA-YAH" WHEN THE SUN WAS IN THE HOUSE OF KARFLOG!!
AAudurey
[confused] What?
Alright. We'll just call the Eudonain embassy and we'll have them annll the marriage.
I tried. You can't get the marriage annlled unless both the husband and wife agree. Don't worry, alright. I'm working on a plan.
Oprah is never calling you back!
No. [opens the fridge and gets a container out of there and places it on the table] Mom, dad, just go out there and keep Yooka's parents busy for a while. [Audrey and Walter stare at him] Just trust me.
Alright, come on. [he and Audrey walk away]
You really think you can fix this?
[opens the window] I think so. But just in case, [grabs a knife holder] best we don't have these in the house. [throws it out the window]
[the family is having dinner]
YYonka
Mmmm! Please. This food is most excellent.
You know, Josh has always been a wonderful cook. In the 5th grade, he won 1st prize for his brownie recipe. What'd you call that son? Fudgie boos?
Oh, dad, please stop talking.
No, no, no, that wasn't. It. It was frosty poos.
Right. So I'm gonna get more meat.
YYeesta
So, Drake, you have not, told me how you plan to support my daughter.
Well, my hope is to, become a famous musician and singer.
YYonka
You must get a real job.
Yeah. My grades are very important to me.
Yeah, do you know how hard he works to maintain his "D" average?
YYonka
I say school not so Important. I not go to school, yet I become billionaire by age.
A B-Billionaire? Like with a "B"?
Why you didn't tell me. Your family had a billion dollars? That's worth mentioning... My sweet, sweet wife.
Oh, money... Yooka! Ohhh, Yooka.
YYonka
Josh, this meat is magnificent. We don't have beef like this in our homeland.
YYeesta
Oh? Then what is this meat?
YYeesta
You serve us goatballs?!
YYooka
Josh, how you could do this?!
Well, it was Drake's idea. In fact, he cooked this entire meal.
Be quiet, Josh. They have a billion dollars.
YYooka
Drake! You know that goat is sacred in my country!
Yes, Yes! I know! I would never serve goat to my wonderful Yudonian family with so much money!
[Yonka ends the marriage right away as Yooka's family leaves Drake and Josh's home, much to Drake's horror]
YYonka
Family, we go. Now!
Wait, Wait! Don't go! I love you all so much!
YYeesta
[angrily] BOOSHA!
YYonka
[angrily] THIS MARRIAGE IS NO MORE! [rips up Drake and Yooka's certificate]
Yooka! Yooka, wait! Don't go! What about the love we share?! I'm sorry about the glokmah! Wait. Can't I just have a few million dollars? Please? [Yooka and her family leave] Boosha!
[during the end credits, Josh reads an e-mail to Drake as Drake is feeling sad about Yooka]
[sits at his computer] Oh Drake, check out this email from Yooka. She writes, [reads, in a poor Yudonian accent] when we got back to Yudonia, I met a wonderful boy named Akbu! We fell in love and are engaged to married. He is a big fan of American baseball, so my father bought him the Boston Red Sox! [talks normal] Man, what you think of that?
[sits on the couch, crying] Boosha! [blows his nose]
Oh, Josh. Don't you ever learn that I can outsmart you anytime I want?
Now, what do you eat soup with?
Really? Because I eat my soup with a spoon.
Yeah, cause if you eat soup with a fork, all the liquid would just fall down from the-
Maybe I just like you, too!
Yeah. Maybe I've liked you for a really long time, but I didn't realize it 'cause I hated you so much!
Are you saying you like me or not?
Are you saying you like me or not?!
Well, I'm sayin' I like you!
Then I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend!
I get to be the boyfriend!
