[Flashback #1: in Josh's fake recollection]
[acting like a bully] Hey.
I'm Josh, what's your name?
I'm gonna buy a foam finger.
Um, could you not talk to me?
Ha-ha! You're funny. Wanna be friends?
If I say yes, will you stop talking to me?
Um, pardon me, but I think you're next in line.
Yeah, I know. Hey girls! Why don't you cut in line you can all buy foam fingers?!
[A group of little girls whoop while cutting and get in line to buy all the foam fingers]
Hey, no cutsies! Um, I was in line! [the little girls leave after buying almost all of the foam fingers] Ladies!
Got any foam fingers left?
LennyJust one.
[satisfied] Good. I'll buy it. So he can't have it!
Lenny
Here you go, the last foam finger.
[satisfied] Ha-ha! I got the last foam finger!
Daddy! [Young Drake hits him] You thumped me!
[Young Drake tackles Young Josh, causing a fight for the last foam finger]
Lenny
Cops! Cops!
[They continue fighting until the cops show up as Josh's recollection ends]
And then the cops had to come break it up!
[Flashback #2: in Drake's fake recollection]
[complaining] Hey! What the heck is taking so long?
Oh, don't worry. The line's moving pretty fast.
[complaining] Who asked you?
Lenny
Next in line.
He said next in line. Get your butt out of your ears!
LBLittle British Girl
[walks up to Drake and Josh] Pardon me sir. I have only 3 weeks to live. May I please cut in front of you? Every minute counts.
[complaining] Ah! For the love of crud!
[Lenny gives a little British girl a foam finger much to Young Drake's delight]
LBLittle British Girl
You're very kind. [leaves]
Uh, 1 foam finger please.
Lenny
O-kay, it looks like that you got the last one.
[complaining] The last one?!
You're dead, punk! [begins fighting with Young Drake causing a fight for the last foam finger]
Lenny
Cops! Cops!
[They continue fighting until the cops show up to stop the fight as Drake's recollection ends]
So it was Josh who started the fight.
That is so not how it happened.
Oh, that poor little girl.
There's no poor little girl! Why would a dying British orphan be at a Padres game?!
[Flashback #3: in Lenny's real recollection]
Lenny
[narrating] The Padres were playing against the Giants, and I was selling foam fingers, it was late in the afternoon, these 2 boys get in line at the concession stand...
Okay, Drake, here's some money, you get yourself a souvenir.
[smiling] Megan! Are you hungry?
Yes. You can have a cookie.
TMToddler Megan
I am hungry.
[walks up to Young Drake] Hey.
I'm gonna buy a foam finger.
Lenny
Next in line.
[Two little girls walk up behind the boys]
LGLittle Girl
Hi, is it okay if we cut in front of you?
You know, my dad's a weatherman.
[Young Josh looks surprised]
LGLittle Girl
Thanks. Bye. [she and the other little girl leave]
Lenny
Okay, it looks like you got the last one.
[upset] Aw, that's the last foam finger?
Daddy! [Toddler Megan throws the cookie at Young Josh's head in slow motion] Aaah! [angrily turns to Young Drake] You thumped me!
[truthfully] No, I didn't.
[Young Josh tackles Young Drake for the last foam finger, and they began to fight]
Lenny
Cops! Cops!
[They continue fighting until the cops show up as Lenny's recollection ends, back to present day]
[realizing] So...it was Megan who started the fight.
Lenny
That's right. She threw the cookie.
[surprised] Wow. I was even cool then!
Drake & Josh · 289 quotes
