"The night of her engagement party, Gabrielle Solis was injured. But she wasn't hurt by the chauffeur who almost slammed a door on her fingers
S3Gossip
"Gossip. For most housewives, it's just a harmless form of recreation. An exchange of semi-interesting titbits concerning the semi-interesting lives of people they know. But the time comes in every neighborhood when something very interesting happens. And that's when gossip stops being recreation, and becomes obsession."
"And for the first time, Gabrielle was willing to let Carlos be with someone else
"Gossip. It's just a harmless form of recreation. It's careless talk that deals in polite fiction
It's nasty speculation that's based on not-so-polite fact. How do we protect ourselves from the venomous sting of such idle gossip? The best way is to just tell the truth
and wait for people to start talking about someone else."
"I wish she'd hurry. I'm terrified of snakes."
"Yeah, I'm more terrified of Gaby."
[Parker sees kids painting 'witch' on Mrs. McCluskey's door] What's going on? [sees it] Hey don't do that!
FFreddy
Why not?
Because she's not a witch!
FFreddy
How do you know?
Cause she isn't! Don't be a jerk!
[the kids start making fun of him]
Shut up!
[a kid pushes him down]
Hey you boys, knock it off!
[puts her arm on Parker's shoulder] Parker I'm sorry. Are you all right?
[He pulls his shoulder away] Ya know, everything would be okay if you told people what you told me. You can make them stop.
[he walks off]
[Parker rings Mrs. McCluskey's doorbell] Would ya stop ringing that damn... I'm sorry Parker, I thought you where one of those little pissheads that keeps ringing the doorbell and running away. What's on your mind?
I want you to come back and babysit us, the new sitter stinks!
Your folks hired a new sitter?
Yeah, and she thinks carrots are snacks!
Well that's rough. But life's like that sometimes.
It doesn't have to be. If you just told people what happened with your husband, everything could go back to the way it was.
Parker, see those women over there. Nothing I could say could stop those tongues from wagging. I'm sorry kid but I just have to wait this one out
S3I Remember That
I told you I wanted this floor to sparkle like your mom's. Now does this floor look Bree Hodge clean to you?
Uh... no. It looks Andrew Van de Kamp clean. But your disappointment in me is very Bree Hodge.
Thank you, Mother, for colluding in my rape!...
S3The Little Things You Do Together
Hey, chill out. You're acting like I did when I was six months pregnant.
Uh, excuse me. You were hitting people.
Only two. And the mailman had the good taste never to bring that up again.
What do you mean, it's bar mitzvah season? There's no such thing.
[after Gaby told Carlos she assumed she had sex with Zach] I can't believe you bagged another neighbourhood kid!
[Carlos walks away]
Where are you going?
To warn the Scavo boys!
DVDanielle Van de Kamp
[shouting to Andrew] I liked you better when you were a psychopath!
S3My Husband, the Pig
"I never thought you'd want a fifth kid."
"I don't, but I didn't want the first four, and they're starting to grow on me."
"At least your husband tries to be romantic. Every anniversary, Gilbert bought me an appliance. On the last one, he gave me a vacuum cleaner. He died two weeks later. I didn't cry."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.