MOMan on TV
This document is an insult to the majority of people of Northern Ireland!
All right, Ian, we get the idea, like.
What are you futtering at?
The picture’s just gone a bit, sort of…
You have to give it a bit of a shock now and again. (He hits the TV again) You have to keep it on its toes.
I’m not sure you do have to keep it on its toes, Joe. It’s a television.
Okay, okay, okay! I’m just going to turn it off and turn it on again. That usually does the trick. (He turns the TV off and on again) There we go. Hm? It doesn’t seem to be anything happening now.
This stupid prick’s broken the TV, Mary!
Excuse me. You’re the one that was thumping it repeatedly, Joe.
I’ll thump you repeatedly!
Well, the pair of you better sort it out. London’s Burning’s on in 20 minutes.
Aunt SarahGod, Mary, but them poor fellas are flat out with fires, so they are. Jesus, but they never get a minute.
Aye, it’s a good job they keep themselves in such great shape.
Aunt Sarah
Aw, don’t, Mary. That Greek fella…
He could throw me over his shoulder any day of the week.
GGabriel
(Off-screen) Come on, Mary.
(Off-screen) I can’t, Gabriel.
GGabriel
(Off-screen) No one needs to find out.
(Off-screen) No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
GGabriel
You call me when you change your mind.
When? You’re sure of yourself.
GGabriel
I know how to get what I want. (closing the door behind Mary Quinn)
Aunt Sarah
Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
Aunt Sarah
Look, Mary. Are they for Mammy’s grave, Da?
Ten years gone, would you believe it?
I don’t know why I bother. That Kitty O’Donnell next door, sue her plot’s like a jungle.
Aunt Sarah
It is a disgrace.
If that useless bloody husband of hers doesn’t get his finger out soon, I’ll give it a going-over myself.
Aunt Sarah
Daddy, how many times? You can’t strim the grave of another man’s wife. It’s inappropriate.
You could rear cattle in it, Sarah.
Ten years, and not a peep out of her.
Aunt Sarah
Mammy.
I don’t know what she’s playing at. There’s no excuse for it, love.
Her being dead is sort of an excuse. No?
She couldn’t give us a sign? She couldn’t rattle a teapot or something?
Mary Quinn: Bridget Gallagher was telling me she went to see this psychic.
Aunt Sarah
No! You know the problems I have with my aura.
Aunt Sarah
The last time I went to see a psychic, sure I was tortured. The spirits were coming at me left, right and center. This one lad, he was in the American Air Force. Well, would he give over about that plane going down? Jesus, he had me demented.
Aunt Sarah
Even so, Sarah, wouldn’t you like to know that Mammy’s happy, that she’s at peace now?
I’d give anything to speak to her again.
Love to know what the hell she did with my good electric razor.
What are you supposed to be? Swans?
Aunt Sarah
Angels don’t use crutches.
You’re a swan expert now, are you?
Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
Ah, I love his wee toy car.
Derry Girls · 94 quotes
