Father Peter quotes from Derry Girls

Father Peter

Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?

Michelle

I remember that James was being a dick.

Sister Michael

Miss Mallon.

Michelle

I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.

Father Peter

I don’t think you’re a dick, James.

James

Really?

Father Peter

Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.

Sister Michael

For feck’s sake.

Michelle

How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick?

Father Peter

Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.

Michelle

I very much doubt that.

Mary Quinn

I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this?

Father Peter

I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.

Mary Quinn

Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.

Father Peter

And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.

Mary Quinn

Is he all right?

Sister Michael

I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

Father Peter

As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.

Michelle

Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you?

Sister Michael

Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.

Father Peter

Okay, I think we should just move on.

Sister Michael

The hairdresser certainly did.

Peter

Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.

Peter

The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.

Michelle

That’s right, Peter.

Peter

Matthew.

Michelle

Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…

Peter

It doesn’t matter.

Michelle

No, I fucked it.

Peter

Okay. Give us some clues, girls.

Orla

Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.

Clare

They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.

Peter

Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.

Erin

Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!

Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!

Peter

Girl power!