I hate bees.
Just paper wasps. They're having too much fun to worry about us.
I never get used to this part, you know when the bugs get going.
Just doing what god intended, recycling us back to the earth.
S1 E10Sex, Lies, and Larvae
I ID'd her body through AFIS, and located her husband.
Let me guess. Downtown? The Fremont District? (Brass looks disappointed)
You know, I'm not even going to ask.
(Warrick and Catherine are looking at the Sorenson painting and Nick walks in)
Hey.
Hey.
Nicky, how's it going?
What's up?
Good, good. (he looks at the painting) Are you putting one of Lindsey's drawings into evidence? (Cath and Warrick laugh)
If only her artwork brought in this kind of dough I wouldn't need to worry about her college tuition.
Yeah, I heard your missing person was a "painting".
(scoffs) At least we solved our case.
Oh! (Nick puts a hand to his chest as if wounded)
Keep walking. (Nick laughs and leaves the room)
You've still got to convince a jury.
On guns. It's got to be better than bugs. Less Latin.
You're the one who said one piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
What do you tape everything I say?
S1 E11I-15 Murders
How ya doing Jim? How's your old job?
I can sling scum all day. You?
I curse more.
Oh yeah? Well wait.
You don't have a worry that technology is gonna make us obsolete?
No.
[swipes a yellow substance that has dropped on the leg of a shopping cart and licks it]
Oh, that's sanitary.
Mustard. [Glances behind, noticing a bunch of jars of mustard on the shelf] Did you have any clean-ups in this aisle today?
SMStore manager
Yeah, as a matter of fact, we did.
Life holds no surprises. [Takes a jar of mustard from the shelf, checks the price and hands two dollars to the store manager] $1.98 for the mustard, plus my two cents. [Takes the jar and drops it at Brass' feet. The jar shatters, splattering mustard on Brass' shoes and pants]
What are you doing?!
Now, where do you go?
Grissom reinstated you.
And you have a problem with that.
Let me guess. Grissom gets you to dime yourself off and now you both feel better? You're supposed to be in court. Instead, you're placing bets for a cheap thrill to satisfy nothing.
Hey! This has nothing to do with you. So are we going to work together...or not?
I'm already working.
What's that?
You...at the Monaco Casino.
What? I don't believe this. Now you're pulling up film on me?
Casinos tape everyone who walks through their door, Warrick, you know that. I thought we had a deal.
We do.
Look, what you do on your time is nobody's business. What you do on my time is my business. [Warrick sighs and sits down]
I was at the casino. But I wasn't gambling. [Grissom sits and listens to what he has to say, screen cuts to a different scene]
[reading] I've killed 5 women...catch me if you can.
Sara Sidle. 419. [Grissom hands the assignment sheet to Sara]
Dead body -- bonus.
Whoa, somebody likes their job.
Nick Stokes. 416, fight at the Bellagio. She says she's a friend of yours.
Ex-girlfriend, Nick?
Well, that depends. Was she the assaulter of the assaultee?
You tell us, you like leather or lace?
[chuckles] No, I'm not even going there. [turns to leave, but turns back] Lace! [Sara smiles]
A kid from a crime lab doing favors for a hooker, can't make the unit look too good, huh, boss?
Yeah, well, I'll get into it.
I bet that's just what Nicky said.
[walking past them and toward the crime scene] You two ladies done talking? It's hot out here.
[Leads them to the body] Kid over there was taking a whiz on the side of the road, found the body.
[Touches the body] And she's stiff...like a two-minute burrito that's only been nukes for a minute.
In this heat?
I need your shirt.
KKristy
Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.
[Nick walks into Grissom's office triggering his Big Mouth Billy Bass]
That's my Big Mouth Billy Bass. It's better than a watch dog. I got some valuable stuff in here.
Yeah, I'm sure lots of people would want to steal your two headed scorpion and Miss Piggy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.