How ya doing Jim? How's your old job?
I can sling scum all day. You?
I curse more.
Oh yeah? Well wait.
“I-15 Murders” · Season 1, Episode 11
In this episode: Gil Grissom (10), Sara Sidle (5), Catherine Willows (4), Nick Stokes (4), Warrick Brown (4), Jim Brass (3), Greg Sanders (1)
You don't have a worry that technology is gonna make us obsolete?
No.
[swipes a yellow substance that has dropped on the leg of a shopping cart and licks it]
Oh, that's sanitary.
Mustard. [Glances behind, noticing a bunch of jars of mustard on the shelf] Did you have any clean-ups in this aisle today?
SMStore manager
Yeah, as a matter of fact, we did.
Life holds no surprises. [Takes a jar of mustard from the shelf, checks the price and hands two dollars to the store manager] $1.98 for the mustard, plus my two cents. [Takes the jar and drops it at Brass' feet. The jar shatters, splattering mustard on Brass' shoes and pants]
What are you doing?!
Now, where do you go?
Grissom reinstated you.
And you have a problem with that.
Let me guess. Grissom gets you to dime yourself off and now you both feel better? You're supposed to be in court. Instead, you're placing bets for a cheap thrill to satisfy nothing.
Hey! This has nothing to do with you. So are we going to work together...or not?
I'm already working.
What's that?
You...at the Monaco Casino.
What? I don't believe this. Now you're pulling up film on me?
Casinos tape everyone who walks through their door, Warrick, you know that. I thought we had a deal.
We do.
Look, what you do on your time is nobody's business. What you do on my time is my business. [Warrick sighs and sits down]
I was at the casino. But I wasn't gambling. [Grissom sits and listens to what he has to say, screen cuts to a different scene]
[reading] I've killed 5 women...catch me if you can.
Sara Sidle. 419. [Grissom hands the assignment sheet to Sara]
Dead body -- bonus.
Whoa, somebody likes their job.
Nick Stokes. 416, fight at the Bellagio. She says she's a friend of yours.
Ex-girlfriend, Nick?
Well, that depends. Was she the assaulter of the assaultee?
You tell us, you like leather or lace?
[chuckles] No, I'm not even going there. [turns to leave, but turns back] Lace! [Sara smiles]
A kid from a crime lab doing favors for a hooker, can't make the unit look too good, huh, boss?
Yeah, well, I'll get into it.
I bet that's just what Nicky said.
[walking past them and toward the crime scene] You two ladies done talking? It's hot out here.
[Leads them to the body] Kid over there was taking a whiz on the side of the road, found the body.
[Touches the body] And she's stiff...like a two-minute burrito that's only been nukes for a minute.
In this heat?
I need your shirt.
KKristy
Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.
[Nick walks into Grissom's office triggering his Big Mouth Billy Bass]
That's my Big Mouth Billy Bass. It's better than a watch dog. I got some valuable stuff in here.
Yeah, I'm sure lots of people would want to steal your two headed scorpion and Miss Piggy.
'[about Kristy's shirt] Now, I've done this procedure on jeans and leather jackets but never on something like this. It's very see through. Very Jennifer Lopez.
Down boy.
It's going to be a tough one to prove. This is only step one. You see, when a person talks saliva naturally comes out of their mouth. Let's say that we're tossing the hog back and forth, right? [as he talks the camera makes note of the saliva that comes out of his mouth naturally in illustration of what he just said] What can you tell me about the hottie that goes inside this blouse, huh? Is it true she's a friend of yours?
What, is it on the internet?
Might as well be. Just remember that. My saliva is getting on you, your saliva is getting on me.
Gross. [Greg grabs a spray pump and sprays it on the paper] What's that stuff?
Starch and iodine. If this is saliva, we're going to get the old dalmatian effect. So, Nick, uh, if I wanted to meet this friend of yours...?
No.
Figured. [Greg sprays the paper] That's a pretty big spot. That's more than just a spray. In fact, looks like a distinct glob of spit.
Then Kristy was telling the truth. But it doesn't mean it was the security guard's spit.
Step three.
I'm going to need a sample.
Well, the guy knows he did it. He's not going to cough it up.
If you saw the girl that went with this blouse...you'd try.
You just don't give up.
It's a flaw.
[storms in, angrily] You weren't in your office.
And good morning to you Miss Sidle.
Warrick has a problem, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. You asked for a report and then you completely ignored my recommendation!
I read your report.
Then at least take him off my case.
No. I trust him. Do you trust me?
You know how you're always pushing that Holy Trinity stuff?
Father, son and Holy Ghost?
Victim, suspect and crime scene.
Oh, that one.
You're a CSI, Sara. You saw me enter the casino, did you ever see me place a bet?
You're telling me you didn't?
I don't need to tell you anything. [Sighs] I went to the casino to collect a debt that was owed to me. We're on the same team. Next time, why don't you try talking to me, instead of going around behind my back?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.