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A character in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

David Hodges quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Played by Wallace Langham · 75 quotes · page 4 of 5

David Hodges

8th most-quoted character in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: in 75 of its 1,147 quotes
Most scenes with: Catherine Willows (14), Nick Stokes (13), Gil Grissom (12)

Scenes with David Hodges 72

I know this seems like a simple trash hut, but it could make or break the case. The sooner we find this stuff, the sooner we're gonna find this kid. So, don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. (notices Hodges not walking with them) Hodges, come on man, I know you're not nuts about the field but I didn't bring you all the way out here to just stand around, you know what I mean?

Hodges

Can I see you for a second?

What?

Hodges

You can work hard (opens up a trash bin right by the crime scene) or you can work smart. (Nick pulls out a bag from Dempsey's department store) Can I go now?

Hodges

Was treated hardwood and white ash; known for its durable bending quality and hardness. Not unlike me.

You didn't learn anything in sensitivity training, did you?

Hodges

I took what I needed and I left the rest.

[Nick and Hodges are playing Mailbox Baseball in the parking garage]

Nicky, for God's sake, are you trying to break your arm?

Don't sweat it, I tried it on the dummy first. Didn't break his arm, it's not gonna break mine.

Hodges

It became clear during our experiments that it would take something far more massive than an aluminum mailbox to generate the force necessary to cause the fracture in the victims arm.

We're thinking telephone pole, sign post, I'm gonna go back to the crime scene and check it out.

Then why are you guys still in here smashing mailboxes?

Hodges

Because it's fun. My turn!

Hodges

Well it looks like they're a cute couple, I give you that, but what I don't get is why anybody wants to watch that show. I don't, it's a talent contest? It's more like a humiliation ritual.

Well you'd know about that.

S9 E8 Young Man With A Horn
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Hodges

Specific type of asbestos called Amicide. Its particles are bound together by vermiculite and cellulose, the combination found in spray-on ceilings, that type of ceiling material hasn't been used in 20 or 30 years. You know, it's as if you victim found a hole in the time-space continuum and was murdered decades ago.

Brilliant theory, Dave. Thanks.

S9 E8 Young Man With A Horn
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Hodges

[About a tortoise with a suspect's fingerprint on it] I wonder if he's a rare species, because I read that African tortoises can be worth as much as $10,000.

Please hurry, okay? Because he's been traumatized enough already.

Hodges

He's a material witness in a homicide investigation.

I meant traumatized by you.

CDCollectibles Dealer

We're talking about a piece of television history. The actual space force microprobe Commander Artemis Bishop used to subdue the alien Gorth in the season two finale of Astro Quest. And it can all be yours for just $750.

Hodges

750? Do I look like an idiot to you?

[Scene cuts to Hodges walking with the space force microprobe.]

Hodges

[Calls Brass on his cell phone.] It's Hodges.

Who?

Hodges

From trace. We have a situation at the Whatifitcon.

The Whatifit-what? How'd you get this number?

Hodges

I cloned Grissom's cell phone for a work related matter. That's not important now. We have a situation. It's one of the exhibitors.

Could you be more specific?

Hodges

He's dead, Jim.

Hodges

When you're done with fingerprinting, the officer will take you into another room where he'll collect the rest of your clothing.

JJackass

I ain't stripping.

Hodges

I promise you, jail scrubs are much cleaner and more flattering than the blood and grease soaked homicide evidence that you're currently wearing.

S9 E23 Hog Heaven
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[Hodges gets headbutted by Tonya after he demands she apologizes to Wendy.]

That was stupid.

Hodges

Oh, chivalry is not dead.

No, but its nose is bleeding.

S9 E23 Hog Heaven
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Hodges

Ah, the 70s. Recession, energy crisis, conflict in the Middle East, my how times have changed.

Least we don't have to put up with disco.

Hodges

It's an old Hux Club casino chip.

Hampton Huxley, the dead porno mag guy?

Hodges

No, it's not porno, it's a lifestyle. For one brief shining moment in the 80s scantily-clad Hux Club kittens, serving cocktails and dealing blackjack was the pinnacle of Las Vegas high society.

How'd you get in?

Hodges

Sadly only through the glossy pages of the magazine, which I purchased for the articles.

Hodges

If you're gonna have me keep doing Archie's job, I'm gonna need a raise.

Lemme know what Ecklie says to that.

Hodges

I was hoping you'd ask. You're a supervisor.

Yeah, well, it's good to hope for things.

Time for a toast. You know, bowling is a family sport. I'd like to raise a glass to our CSI family. Cheers. [They all drink] But unfortunately, it's time to give the family a little ass-whoppin'. [They all laugh]

Hodges

Oh, really?!

All of us?

Be careful, Nick, don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash.

EEveryone

Ooh!

S10 E8 Lover's Lanes
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.