Wanda quotes from Corner Gas

Wanda

I think I've got Hot Cross Buns Down, let's try Three Blind Mice.

Emma

They're the same tune.

Wanda

...You just blew my mind.

Emma

Glad to have helped.

Wanda

[to Hank] If you are not injured from this accident, you will be when I'm done with you!

Hank

I think I broke my wrist.

Wanda

Damn!

Hank

I know!

Wanda

And there goes Karen jogging.

Brent

Yeah yeah.

Wanda

Oh and there's Hank running right behind her.

Wanda

[talking about the bowl to Emma] I paid fifty bucks for it on Ebay!

Emma

Fifty bucks, is that all?

Yeah, I mean for an enchanted bowl that's a bargain!

Brent

Are there birds in here?

Wanda

It's the phone.

Brent

Are there birds in the phone?

Wanda

Hey Olivia, the new comics are in.

Hank

Oh thanks. Olivia?

Wanda

Newton-John? Let's get physical?

Hank

Oh no, not right now, I'm about to work out.

Karen

Hey, how did you know I forgot my wallet?

Wanda

I... saw it in your eyes... you look wallet-less.

Wanda

Hey Brent, you hear your parents are splitsville?

Brent

I got real problems. Check this out, they made my shirt the wrong colour.

Emma

First you take three dollops of goop and spread it evenly.

Wanda

It's burning!

Emma

The warmth means it's working.

Wanda

I didn't say warmth. It feels like you're welding my spine.

Emma

That also means it's working.

Karen

What do the red blotches mean?

Emma

It means it's time to shut up.

Wanda

There's blotches?

Karen

No, now your whole back is red.

Wanda

[turns around with her face completely red] Ow. Now it's really burning. My skin is on fire.

Emma

I'm glad that's not me.

Wanda

Is it taco?

Hank

No.

Wanda

Ketchup?

Hank

No.

Wanda

Napkin?

Hank

Yes.

Wanda

You lying, sack of-

Wanda

It wasn't napkin!

Hank

I thought you were offering me a napkin.

Wanda

And here you go.

Wanda

Prepare to be blown away by the aural journey.

I thought Karen was the smut reader.