Brent quotes from Corner Gas

Hank

How does that syrup even pass for music? I mean, whatever happened to rock'n'roll, man?

Wanda

Exactly.

Brent

You know what's really depressing?

Wanda

That I just agreed with Hank about something.

Brent

That's peculiar and unnerving.

Brent

Let me guess, you're broke.

Hank

What makes you say that?

Wanda

Because you're staring at the cash the way Hank stares at cash. [pause] Oh my God, you've become your own metaphor.

Hank

Look, I'm just a little short this week. Can you spot me a tensky?

Brent

Tensky; you always give it a cute little name so it won't seem like real money. Like that five-O I lent him last week. Sorry Hank, you're a bad riskaroony.

Hank

Well what am I gonna do for cash? Go pick bottles outta the ditch like some kinda hobo? Pfft! Cause I did that yesterday.

Hank

We should get Wunder Face back together again!

Brent

Thunderface. And why would we do that?

Wanda

It's not the worst idea I've ever heard.

Brent

Okay that's twice you've agreed with Hank.

Wanda

Is there some strange planetary lineup today?

Hank

Hey, I take good care of this truck!

Brent

Is that why there's smoke billowing out of the hood?

Brent

That's right, Wes is nuts. This coming from a guy who once punched a skunk.

Oscar

He had it comin'.

Hank

Aw, man. I can taste Wes eating those nachos now.

Brent

All right, let's ignore Hank's disturbing image.

Brent

To victory.

Lacey

To perfect attendance.

Wanda

[drunk] To the internal combustion engine, baby!

Lacey

Hey what do you guys know about this harvest dance?

Brent

Well uh there's a harvest and then we have a dance. I'm not sure where we came up with the name.

Brent

Well why can't you do that yourself? Did some fictional hooligan steal your make-believe ladder?

Oscar

It's against the rules. We can each take ten grand, that's it. That's the rules. Without rules nothing makes sense.

Brent

With rules this makes no sense.

Hank

I had a dream about your mom.

Brent

You have five seconds to make my skin stop crawling.

Lacey

Do you want some decaf?

Brent

Decaf? The "caf" is what I need! The caf is the whole point of this. I'm not just jonesing for some hot brown liquid, with or without caf. I need the caf!

Lacey

You need therapy. [puts a glass of milk on the counter]

Brent

That's not caf, it's for a calf.

Wanda

Hey, Lacey! I need your boards; I'm up to my armpits in bulletins!

Brent

That's almost two feet of bulletins.

Wanda

Dear Brent: I know you're on vacation, but if you get the chance, maybe in between your pedicure and your mud bath, can you fix the debit machine like you said you would? All the best, Wanda.

Brent

Dear Wanda: You can do it. Sincerely, Brent.

Wanda

Dear Brent: I don't have the passcodes to fix the machine, now do I? PS Your shirt's ugly.

Brent

So what other cats are in this club?

Wanda

Right now? Just me and Lacey.

Lacey

We're training for the fun run.

Brent

Geez, there's two words that don't belong together.