Oh, okay. Hold on. How did I not know about this screening? I have like six different Google alerts for "Viking Timelord marathon." [realizes in horrified shock] Wait a minute. THIS IS THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL!!!
[picks up an intelli pill from the bowl and walks into the hallway] I'll show them smart. [swallows the pill and an electric bolt elevates up from her spine to her brain] Huh? I guess it doesn't work. AAGH! [falls onto her knees] Mind on fire. Hypotenuse! Parthenogenesis! "Star Trek" continuity!
[after inventing a Mind-agra pill] 1,000 milligrams of bio-optimized, quick-release nootropic cognitive enhancement. [takes out her phone] Science, bitch! [shutter clicks a selfie]
[clapping slowly] Wow, cool pill… if you like bullshit! Hit it, Alex! [walks up on the stage] Behold! Mind-agra! [holds up a Mind-agra pill the air and the audience gasps in amazement]
[shocked] No! But how? [Bridgette wipes her bangs, revealing her increased head; shocked gasp in realization] Bitch took my pill! [runs over to her mother] Mom! She stole my pill and reverse engineered it! Do something!
[dumps out a pill and swallows it, causing her brain to increase a bit as she groans] I…understand! [speedily draws a hypothesis on the chalkboard] I did it! I proved the Riemann hypothesis, the most important unsolved problem in pure mathematics!
[The audience cheers and applause for Olivia as Mrs. Hashima raises up her hand]
[spots a car, thinking it's about to backup] Ah-ha! See? A space is opening up as we speak. [the car's tale lights go off; annoyingly honks the horn, unaware that the driver is doing her taxes]
DDriver
[gets out of her car and runs to Alex's car; irately] I'M DOING MY TAXES, DICKWEED! [violently slams her fists on the hood; Alex and Josh scream and drive away] I'm gonna deduct your head from your body!
