CCalamari
My name is Calamari. And these are my friends—Walleye, Tilapia, Troutface, and Scrode.
SScrode
It's pronounced "Scrawd"!
S1Quilty Pleasures
We're not your parents!
CCalamari
Of course you are. That was the price for the quilt, remember? Remember? [spiders crawl out of her mouth]
S1The Perfect House
Hey, how'd you guys get here so fast? I only ordered it like 20 minutes ago.
DGDelivery Guy
Says here you ordered it three days ago.
THREE DAYS?! Where the hell is Emily?!
S1Logan's Run'd
JJaxon
So what's up girl? Wanna come back to my crib?
Okay, but just a hang out. I'm not some YouTube croupy.
JJaxon
That's cool. We'll do a little screen time. PBS Kids and chill. Get my mom to whoop us up get some snacks.
Oh, you still live with your mom?
JJaxon
And weekends with my dad's. He's so strong.
Wait, how old are you?
JJaxon
Me? I just turned 26. [Bridgette sighs] Months. 26 months.
What?
S1Room Parents
NNikki
Do you work out? Actually, don't answer; I wanna find out organically.
S1Skate Dad
[as Josh gets sent to an ambulance]
Daddy, what's an ass knife?
Uh, huh. That's a different lesson!
S1100% No Stress Day
[Josh, Alex and Candice sneak in and hide behind a wooden crate and hey watch the meat being produced]
Aw sick! Look at what they're putting in the meat!
[the Wurst Bros employees pouring dead animal parts into the meat processing machines]
That is...so gross.
Dude, look up there! [reads a pig-shaped sign reading "Not Stolen Hams"] I bet there's hams in there.
[a muscular man approaches Josh and Alex from behind and bangs their heads together, knocking them out. Candice is left untouched]
MMMuscular Man
Factory Tour's on Thursdays. [he picks up Candice] Hello sweetie, I have the perfect place for you.
S1Robot Tutor
[sees Candice leave her seat] Candice, what are you doing?
Proving I'm not dumb!
CBCommercial Bot
No matter. I'm password protected. [Candice types up the password] You'll never guess my-
S1Golden Gamer
SStudent
It's like that dude Sisyphus. He kept trying to push that car up the mountain, but he couldn't handle it, and he quit.
Eh, technically, Sisyphus couldn't quit. But you know what? You got most of it.
LLee
Well, check this out, Dorp. You're our Sisyphus.
[tears of joy] Wah, wah, wee, wah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Close Enough pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.