Coach Pantusso quotes from Cheers

Coach

Beer, Normy?

Norm

Coach, I don't know. I'll have one next week... what the heck I'm young.

Coach

What's shaking, Norm?

Norm

All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.

Coach

What will it be, Normy?

Norm

A transfusion with a head on it.

Carla

Eddie's got an extra ticket to the RV show for tonight, Coach. How's that sound?

Coach

Terrific.

Carla

Well go ahead. I'll cover for ya.

Coach

Hot dog!

Carla

Some luck, huh Eddie?

Eddie

Well, I guess I'm not going to get a good night kiss.

Carla

You might if you're nice to him.

Coach

Boy Doc, you tell great stories.

Frasier

That was Poe.

Coach

Don't be modest, it was great.

Carla

What a night. Two hundred bucks in tips.

Coach

What are you gonna do with all that money, Carla?

Carla

I am going to spend it all on my kids.

Coach

Good girl.

Carla

How many gunny sacks and one way tickets do you think it will buy?

Sam

You heard from Irene?

Coach

Well not for awhile but you're not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony anyway. Are you?

Sam

No, but you're supposed to know whether or not she's in the country at least.

Coach

What would you say to a nice beer, Normy?

Norm

Going down?

Carla

How come you're not going on that fishing trip, Coach?

Coach

I don't like the smell of them.

Carla

Yeah, fish stink.

Coach

No, the guys. Out in that sun all day, stuck in the muck. Who needs it?

Diane

Oh, this is disgusting. What kind of culture do I live in where they are the ideal woman?

Coach

Well, gee, Diane. You've gotta admit: they are beautiful.

Diane

Coach, take away all their make-up, all their expensive haircuts and those bodies... and what have you got?

Carla

You.

Coach

[about Sam] I never realized what a brain he is. I study all the time -- he sleeps in the classroom. He never takes a note and still he gets the great grades. No wonder he's Miss Purdy's favorite.

Diane

Miss Purdy?

Coach

Yeah, our beautiful school-teacher.

Diane

And Sam is her favorite?

Coach

Well, uh, I can't say that; but, uh, Sam's the only one I ever saw her kiss.

Diane

They kiss?

Coach

Yeah. I saw them smoochin' in the parking lot. I was putting up a notice there on the bulletin board.

Diane

With probing tongues?

Coach

No, Diane. With a thumbtack and my thumb.