Coach Pantusso quotes from Cheers

Coach

Beer, Norm?

Norm

That's that sudzy amber stuff, right? Been hearing good things about it.

Coach

What can I do for you, Norm?

Norm

I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?

Coach

Let me give the sign.

Sam

I don't know, isn't it kinda tricky?

Well, he is the last person Harry would suspect to be in on anything clever.

Coach

My friends call me 'Coach', but my other nickname is 'Red'.

Why? Because your hair used to be red?

Coach

No, because I read a book.

Coach

What'll it be Norm?

Norm

Fame, fortune, fast women.

Coach

How about a beer?

Norm

Even better.

Diane

Coach, do you think I'm a smart person?

Coach

You're the smartest person I ever met.

Diane

Well, I, Diane Chambers, bred and educated to walk with kings, once offered a full scholarship to the Sorbonne, have allowed myself to become attracted to a six foot three inch bubble gum card.

Coach

Well gee, I think I can help you out with the sore buns Diane, but...the rest of what you say is all over my head!

Cliff

The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state.

Coach

Like Colorado?

Cliff

No, Coach. Uh, more like a king or a prince. Conversely, if you've not led a good life, you come back in a more lowly condition.

Norm

[chuckling] Last time around, I must have made a real ass out of myself.

Coach

Would you like a beer, Norm?

Norm

I'd like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.

Diane

Help, this psycho is trying to kill me!

Coach

That's the only line from Shakespeare I ever understood!

Sam

Coach, I'm having blackouts!

Coach

Kinda nice break in the day, isn't it, Sam?

Sam

Coach, we don't want to be bothered.

Coach

Who does?

Norm

How do you keep so trim, Carla?

Carla

Sex.

Coach

You mean sex is the greatest exercise.

Carla

Nah, I miss it so much I can't eat.

You must have a high threshold for pain.

Coach

I don't know the meaning of the word.

Pretty tough guy there, huh?

Norm

No, no he doesn't know what threshold means.

Coach

How about a beer, Norm?

Norm

Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life.

Coach

What's your most troublesome problem, Norm?

Norm

Well that's tough to say, Coach. Let's see I'm overweight, unemployed, separated, depressed, starting to drink too much. My problem is I've never been happier.