Norm Peterson quotes from Cheers

Norm

Congratulations! Unless you didn't want another kid.

Coach

Of course, she wanted the kid, Norm.

Carla

Sure I do. What penniless unmarried mother of four wouldn't.

Coach

Beer, Norm?

Norm

That's that sudzy amber stuff, right? Been hearing good things about it.

Sam

Would you just admit that you're hung up on me, dammit?!!

Diane

I am not!

Sam

You are too!

Diane

I am not!

Sam

You are too!

Norm

Please, please, do you think I would behave this way in your home?

Coach

What can I do for you, Norm?

Norm

I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?

Coach

What'll it be Norm?

Norm

Fame, fortune, fast women.

Coach

How about a beer?

Norm

Even better.

Cliff

The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state.

Coach

Like Colorado?

Cliff

No, Coach. Uh, more like a king or a prince. Conversely, if you've not led a good life, you come back in a more lowly condition.

Norm

[chuckling] Last time around, I must have made a real ass out of myself.

Cliff

I have impossibly high standards for a woman.

Norm

She has to like you, right?

Cliff

If I wasn't wearing this uniform, I'd ask you to step outside.

Norm

If you weren't wearing that uniform, we'd all step outside.

Coach

Would you like a beer, Norm?

Norm

I'd like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.

Cliff

I'll go with you I know CPR.

Norm

I'll go, I'm a CPA.

Sam

[Calling Carla in a hotel room, worried Hank may die if he's allowed to have sex with her] What should I say?

Norm

Ask her to look next to her and count the dead people.

Norm

How do you keep so trim, Carla?

Carla

Sex.

Coach

You mean sex is the greatest exercise.

Carla

Nah, I miss it so much I can't eat.

Cliff

[trying to scratch a bikini off a card] There's something wrong here. I can't get the bikini off my girl.

Norm

Story of your life, big guy.

You must have a high threshold for pain.

Coach

I don't know the meaning of the word.

Pretty tough guy there, huh?

Norm

No, no he doesn't know what threshold means.

Coach

How about a beer, Norm?

Norm

Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life.