Prue Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Speaking of getting off the ground, that plane trip to Paris is still on open for discussion isn't it? Hasn't that raincheck burned a hole in your pocket by now?

Prue

Look I really appreciate your offer

It's not an offer Prue, it's a dinner request.

Prue

In Paris!

You know what they call french bread in France?

Prue

Bread.

Exactly!

Piper

Lives are at stake Prue, innocent men are going to die. We're your sisters, Prue, we're not going to laugh.

Prue

(comes out of the bathroom, dressed as a guy) How can I save anyone? Okay, I look ridiculous, I am wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriends pile, I have hair in strange places and I have a PENIS! (as Phoebe starts giggling) This is so not funny!

Phoebe

Hahahaha.

Phoebe

It didn't start happening until she sucker-punched Owen.

Prue

Well you had a problem, I fixed it.

Phoebe

Oh, you bet your butt you did. You nearly broke his jaw.

Prue

I saved his life. Look, you're the one who told me I had to practice being a man, right, so I acted on instinct. And to tell you the truth, the moment I hit him, I felt powerful and strong like somehow that made me a man.

Piper

You want to know how to be a real man, look at Dan. Honest, kind, good heart. The type of guy who would risk being late for work just to make you smile, not some bully who walks around thinking one punch is going to change anything.

Prue

She learned all that just from looking out a window.

Phoebe

Oh yeah, nice body, great tan.

Prue

Awesome truck.

Phoebe

You know I think you really are becoming a man.

Prue

She knocked me out guys, I mean really, it was like I was in a trance, I was weak in the knees. And for a moment I felt her need not to be rejected, as though it would devastate her.

Phoebe

Great, we're dealing with a sensitive man-killing demon.

Piper

Jack's not a warlock.

Prue

He's a jerk.

Prue

They really shouldn't have given us the finger.

Piper

You read my mind.

Prue

I know somebody who can see anything.

Phoebe

Oh, no. Wait a minute. You tiptoe around the subject of Mom, you deny looking like her, you can’t even go to the end of that dock because you’re afraid to walk in her footsteps and now you want me to relive her last moments? How is that fair?

Prue

It’s not. None of this is. Mom’s death, Sam’s guilt. But I’m asking you to help me end it.

Phoebe

Fifth wheel cutting in.

Piper

Oh would you stop that.

Phoebe

Well it is a double date.

Prue

It would have been a triple date if Kevin hadn't cancelled.

Phoebe

I know, it seems to be an epidemic lately, guys cancelling on me.

Piper

You know what happens when they cancel?

Prue

Ooh, back to square one!

Piper

Do not pass go

Phoebe

And all accrued nookies credits are thrown out!

There's a penalty?

Prue

So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid?

You believe in warlocks and demons but you can't believe in me?

Piper

Where's the chubby baby?

Phoebe

Guys.

Prue

And the bow and arrow?

Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats?

Prue

Alright, show us something supernatural.

Drazi took my ring. It's my powers, how I get in.

Prue

Get in?

People's hearts, to waken love. See but Drazi's all about hate and he's gonna use the ring to get in the same way.

Piper

You're still gonna have to back up the Cupid claim.

Okay, fine. (he points to Piper) Dan, (points to Prue) Jack, (points to Phoebe) Clay (points to Prue) Andy. My sincerest condolences. Eric in London, Alec in college, (points to Piper) Not Jeremy the warlock, Joe in college, Barry in high school, Tim in eighth grade, (points to Phoebe) Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, (Prue and Piper look at Phoebe surprised) Martin, Peter, Paul, Tony.

Phoebe

Okay, you know I didn't love all those guys, right?

Yeah, well, they wanted to love you but your closed heart eventually sent them away.

Phoebe

My closed heart? I do not have a closed heart.

Look, if people get the feeling that there's nothing there, then eventually it's hasta la vista, Phoebe. That explains the recent rush of cancelled dates.

Prue

Okay, so wait, our past relationships, you made those happen?

Well, actually, my assignment here's only two years old. I helped you two meet Jack and Dan but most of your prior loves were work from fellow agents.

Piper

Agents?

Oh, yeah, I'm just one of many. We work in secret all over the world making connections.

Piper

Did you connect me and Leo?

Uh, no. That was the work of you two. Those connections were forbidden to make for obvious reasons.

Phoebe

Um, can we go back to the hasta la vista remark please?

Prue

We have a baby?

Piper

Phoebe picked it up at the police station.

Prue

Okay, I thought you were going to request a job, not a kid.

Phoebe

Piper, you'll be fine, don't be afraid.

Prue

Yeah, Just think of it as a test run.

Piper

I don't need a test run. I remember when Phoebe was a baby, and it was hard on Mom, and endless, and with you dropping her all the time!

Phoebe

What?!

Prue

Oh, moving on!

Prue

I thought that babies slept. A lot.

Phoebe

Yeah, obviously one of those lies they tell you so you'll want to get pregnant.

Prue

Great party. We should do this more often.

Piper

Yeah. Maybe next time we can trim the guest list by one.

Prue

Piper. I had to invite Leo. He was at the club when I went to go pick up the supplies. He knew that we were throwing a party.

Piper

Well, didn't you think maybe he'd feel a little awkward being here because of Dan?

Prue

It doesn't look like he feels too awkward to me. Look, Piper, he's been mortal for what? A couple of weeks now? I mean, I felt bad for him. He doesn't know anybody and it's not like there's a fallen Whitelighters support group to join or anything.

Piper

Prue, I'm not upset with you. I'm just… I'm…I'm upset with the whole situation.

Prue

Well, Leo's just going to have to accept the fact that you're with... Dan now. You are still with Dan, right?

Piper

Yes. Of course. What do you think they're talking about?

Prue

You.

Piper

Great.

Phoebe

Hey, you guys! Give me a break, it's after midnight, I have mentors tomorrow.

Piper

Sorry Pheebs. Didn't realize we were being so loud.

Prue

Why don't you take a study break? Clear your head, come on down.

Phoebe

I can't, I have too many phobias. To learn about for my psych exam. I had no idea there are so many. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, kleptophobia, phallusphobia.

Prue

Relaxaphobia.

Phoebe

Cute.

Prue

Just trying to help.

Phoebe

You can help by keeping it down. Did I mention it's after midnight?

Piper

Twice.

Prue

Party's breaking up anyway.

Phoebe

Thank you.

Piper

What the hell are they talking about?

Leo

My favorite ball player? Joe DiMaggio. Hands down.

Dan

DiMaggio? No, I meant when you were growing up.

Leo

DiMaggio was... my grandfather’s favorite. That’s why he’s mine too.

Dan

You know Leo, this is just an observation, but uh, you don't like to talk about your past that much. Do you?

Leo

It's just not all that interesting, really.

Dan

Not that interesting? I mean, being in the army sounds pretty interesting. How, I mean, how long have you been out?

Leo

Piper.

Piper

Hi guys. Having fun? Not talking about me too much, I hope.

Dan

No. No. Not at all.

Piper

No?

Dan

Actually Leo was about to fill me in on his army experience.

Piper

The army? Huh. Whoops. Look at the time. Gotta call it a night. Party's over.

Piper

Good night everybody.

Phoebe

Finally.

Prue

You guys be safe.

Thank you.

Phoebe

Okay, I asked you guys once to keep it down...

Piper

Phoebe?

Prue

Phoebe? Hey, are you alright?

Phoebe

Uh... Yeah. I think so.

Piper

What happened?

Phoebe

I don't know. But I'd sure like to find out.