“Heartbreak City” · Season 2
In this episode: Piper Halliwell (3), Phoebe Halliwell (2), Prue Halliwell (2)
Fifth wheel cutting in.
Oh would you stop that.
Well it is a double date.
It would have been a triple date if Kevin hadn't cancelled.
I know, it seems to be an epidemic lately, guys cancelling on me.
You know what happens when they cancel?
Ooh, back to square one!
Do not pass go
And all accrued nookies credits are thrown out!
There's a penalty?
Prue, Piper & Phoebe: Oh Yeah!
So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid?
You believe in warlocks and demons but you can't believe in me?
Where's the chubby baby?
Guys.
And the bow and arrow?
Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats?
Alright, show us something supernatural.
Drazi took my ring. It's my powers, how I get in.
Get in?
People's hearts, to waken love. See but Drazi's all about hate and he's gonna use the ring to get in the same way.
You're still gonna have to back up the Cupid claim.
Okay, fine. (he points to Piper) Dan, (points to Prue) Jack, (points to Phoebe) Clay (points to Prue) Andy. My sincerest condolences. Eric in London, Alec in college, (points to Piper) Not Jeremy the warlock, Joe in college, Barry in high school, Tim in eighth grade, (points to Phoebe) Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, (Prue and Piper look at Phoebe surprised) Martin, Peter, Paul, Tony.
(Phoebe waves at Cupid to stop.)
Okay, you know I didn't love all those guys, right?
Yeah, well, they wanted to love you but your closed heart eventually sent them away.
My closed heart? I do not have a closed heart.
Look, if people get the feeling that there's nothing there, then eventually it's hasta la vista, Phoebe. That explains the recent rush of cancelled dates.
Okay, so wait, our past relationships, you made those happen?
Well, actually, my assignment here's only two years old. I helped you two meet Jack and Dan but most of your prior loves were work from fellow agents.
Agents?
Oh, yeah, I'm just one of many. We work in secret all over the world making connections.
Did you connect me and Leo?
Uh, no. That was the work of you two. Those connections were forbidden to make for obvious reasons.
Um, can we go back to the hasta la vista remark please?
(scoffs at Cupid) Hiding behind witches' skirts?
Stealing things that don't belong to you?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Charmed pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
