Victor Bennett quotes from Charmed

I don't know what kind of people you're used to dealing with, but I'd lay serious coin that they aren't willing to rip you into a thousand pieces and dance in your entrails.

Victor

Oh, so you're lawyers.

Victor

Hm. Leo, I think it's time to come clean.

Leo

You do?

Victor

Yeah. I need to talk to you about something, man-to-man.

Leo

Man-to-man.

Victor

Well, from one mortal to another. Leo, it's not easy being married to a witch.

Leo

No?

Victor

That's why my marriage to Piper's mother didn't work out. It wasn't because I didn't love her, but because I wasn't prepared for what was to come.

Leo

Well, I think I'm prepared, sir. Uh, I mean, Victor.

Victor

Well, don't get me wrong, Leo. I want this marriage to succeed, that's why I'm warning you. But there are dangers out there worse than demons and warlocks. You do know about them, don't you?

Leo

Yeah, sure.

Victor

Well the dangers I'm talking about, you're not even going to see it coming. The thing I'm talking about will just sneak up on you (snaps his fingers in front of Leo's face) and destroy your marriage if you're not careful. Leo, do you know what a Whitelighter is?

Leo

Um...

Victor

Look, my point is, if you wanna...

Leo

Uh oh...

Victor

Wha?

Leo

Uh... (gulps) I have to go. Now.

Victor

Go?

Leo

Yeah, and I don't think you're gonna like the way I have to go, either. (smiles awkwardly at Victor and orbs out)

Cole

You have to hold my hand.

Prue

This sucks already.

Victor

Leo! You lying little piece of--

Piper

Okay, Dad. Not now. Stay with Phoebe. We'll be back.

Victor

Wha-?

Phoebe

Well, don't get mad at me. I've been shot.

Victor

Oh, so now I'm supposed to trust a demon?

Leo

You know, as much as I hate to say this, Cole loves Phoebe. He took a huge risk to come here and try and prove himself to her and he will do whatever it takes to save her life.

Phoebe

He's right.

Victor

How can you be so sure?

Phoebe

Because he loves me as much as I love him.

Leo

I love her with all my heart, and I promise to keep loving her and taking care of her for the rest of this life, the afterlife and whatever comes after that. Now you may not support it, and you may not agree with it, but it is not going to stop me from marrying your daughter today. Nothing will.

Victor

You know.. I could probably get used to having a whitelighter for a son-in-law.

Cole

Everybody having fun down here?

Leo

Where do you stand on demons?

Victor

Patty.

Patty

Hello, Victor, how are you?

Victor

Good. I mean, I was good. Alright, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?

Grams

Not now, Victor. I know you two have issues but that's what the reception is for.

Phoebe

Ok, breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing. Don't forget to breathe. Very good! Relax. Relax.

Piper

Dad!

Victor

Yeah, honey?

Piper

I'm sorry about your demon wife.

Victor

Oh, hush. Don't think about that.

Leo

I'm right here, baby.

Phoebe

You okay? You okay? Ok, you're doing great. You're doing great. Push, okay? Last push.

Piper

I can't.

Phoebe

You have to. A big one. Big one! Push!

Leo

You can do it.

Piper

I can't.

Phoebe

You can. You can.

Paige

Yes, you can.

Phoebe

You're gonna be okay. Push. Push! Push!

Paige

Oh, I think the magic is coming back.

Phoebe

Here we go. Here we go! Oh, I see a shoulder. And another shoulder. And an arm, another arm. Oh, and something else. Something else.

Piper

What? What?

Phoebe

Hi, baby. Hi. Okay. Okay. Look!

Paige

Oh. Is that what I think it is?

Leo

You mean, I got a boy?

Phoebe

Here you go, mama.

Piper

Hi. Hi, little guy. What are you doing? Look what we did.

Leo

I see.

Paige

It's a miracle.

Piper

A little miracle.

Phoebe

He's beautiful.

Piper

Oh. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise.

Victor

Oh my god, you're pregnant!

Piper

Yeah, it looks that way, huh?

Victor

When did this happen?

Piper

Oh, well, you know, I've been meaning to call you but, you know... Leo's the father.

Victor

Leo? I thought you guys split up.

Piper

We did.

Victor

Well, then how... I don't understand.

Piper

Well, He was dying and I was crying... It's all very complicated

Piper

It's a boy. Chris, actually.

Victor

Chris? Why'd you choose that name?

Piper

I don't know, and he won't tell me. He's very secretive about the future. He's actually the reason I asked you to come. See, um, he hates me and he doesn't want to talk to me and I need you to find out why.

Victor

I don't understand your wiccan ways, but I'll try. (He leans towards Piper's stomach) Hello, Chris. Chris. Hello, Chris. Can you hear me?

Chris

Is someone calling me?

Piper

Yeah, sweetie, could you come here for a sec?

Victor

Geez, he can come out? (Chris walks in)

Chris

Can we air this out, 'cause I gotta... Grandpa! (Chris goes over to Victor and hugs him while Victor is stunned)

Piper

Chris, is that what you've been living with knowing that something happens to me? I see, well does it happen soon?

Chris

I can't tell you that, it could change the future in even worse ways.

Piper

Right, but isn't that why you came here in the first place, to make the future better? How do you know that you haven't already changed mine?

Victor

She's got a point.

Piper

Well, whatever it is it obviously doen't happen until after you're born so save it. Got it?

Chris

I got it, mom. (Piper smiles)

Coop

Nobody will ever love your daughter more than me, ever. I promise you that.

Victor

What do you know about love?

Coop

I'm a Cupid!

Victor

Well that doesn't mean squat unless you've had your heart broken. Have you had your heart broken?

Coop

No.

Victor

Then you don't know about love, believe me.

Patty

Now, this is our grandson Wyatt… ooh, so handsome!

Victor

But I-I'm… I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm so confused.

Patty

Ah, you'll get over it. I did.

Victor

Where did you come from.

Patty

1975. How do I look?

Victor

… Didn't anyone tell her, we're divorced?

Patty

What?

Victor

You dumped me, for your Whitelighter.

Patty

Sam?

Victor

Yeah, Sam! Paige's father!

Piper

Well, we changed the past, fixed the future and saved the present. That's all.

Victor

What was that?