Darryl Morris quotes from Charmed

Darryl

I left four messages here. Did anybody in this house learn the magic of the telephone?

Darryl

Where is this baby everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?

Darryl

Well all right, all right.

Darryl

Well, it's about time.

I got here as soon as I heard. Another dead female, right? Mid to late 20s?

Darryl

I've been paging you for over an hour, Trudeau. Where have you been?

Oakland. Checking out a lead.

What lead?

One that didn't go anywhere.

Darryl

You're avoiding my question.

Because you don't want to know I went to an occult shop.

Darryl

You hate me, don't you? You wanna see me suffer.

I want to solve these murders. Someone's after witches.

Darryl

Women.

That women up there, I bet she was killed by an athamé.

Darryl

Wrong. Double-edged steel knife.

Right. That's an athamé. It's a ceremonial tool. Witches use them to direct energy.

Darryl

That women didn't direct jack. She was stabbed. Plain and simple.

Was she found near an altar?

Darryl

Yes.

Were there carvings on that altar?

Darryl

Just do me a favour. Don't ever follow a lead without checking with me first.

You want to go to occult shops?

Darryl

Just get to work, okay?

Inspector Trudeau! Jeremy Burns, San Francisco Chronicle. You care to comment?

A woman was stabbed. Plain and simple.

That's the third one in three weeks.

Prue

Somebody must have manipulated me into taking it.

Phoebe

The same way someone manipulated me into being a witness against my own sister!

Darryl

Any idea about what they're talking about?

Not a clue.

Piper

Nice costume.

Darryl

It's from my rookie days. Still fits.

Leo

Mine too.

Darryl

Isn't that from World War II? Who are you?

Darryl

Well, on the human side of things, I need you guys to put together a grudge list of any enemies you have past or present.

Prue

Already done.

Darryl

Abraxas, Barbas, Yama... What did you do? Date the United Nations?

Leo

I sorta... kinda lost the wedding ring.

Darryl

I've got a great ring guy downtown if you need one.

Piper

He doesn't need one, he has a ring. Mom's ring. I gave it to him, so he could give it back to me at the perfect, romantic moment!

Phoebe

Wow, Leo, you lost Mom's ring. It's a good thing you're dead already.

Leo

I had it in my pocket, Piper. All the orbing in and out...

Piper

Your orbs are grass if you do not find that ring.

Phoebe

I cast a little spell.

Darryl

The less I know, the happier I am.

Piper

Look at all these interview requests we're getting. Ted Coppell, Time Magazine, Jerry Springer. Sports Illustrated?

Darryl

Yea, they probably want you for the swimsuit edition. Just kidding.

Piper

Darryl, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to say? My sister was just possessed with a supernaturally born killer and my husband is in 1994, and I do not mean in the fashion sense. He time traveled back with my other sister so the only one left to help me is you.

Darryl

Gee. Thanks.

Piper

First they're all over each other at the manor, then they steal a ring and now a wedding dress? Frankie and Lulu's unfinished business isn't criminal, it's matrimonial. They wanna get married!

Darryl

Do you people have any normal weddings in your family?