Dan Gordon quotes from Charmed

Are you out of your mind?

What was I supposed to do? Say no? Look at that poor girl.

Dan

Jenny? Jenny, come on. Talk to me.

PPPrue, Piper and Phoebe

Whoa!

S2 Witch Trial

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Dan

Ok, then, um, I'll tell you what I can do. I'll check out the code violations. See how serious they really are. If you'll help me with the promise I made Jenny.

Deal. Wait... Uh, what's the promise?

Dan

She needs help with a paper. It's for a bio class, something with the human reproductive system.

You mean sex?

Dan

It's just way too awkward for me to talk with my niece about.

Yeah, huh...Sure, not to worry! I have plenty of experience.

Dan

Really! With sex.

No! I mean.. talking about it. Yeah!

S2 The Painted World

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(On Dan's tape for the dating agency)

DSDating service worker

What do you look for in a woman?

Dan

What do I look for? I don't know, I'm old-fashioned I guess, I look for the girl next door. Someone with a good heart, and personality and looks to match. The kind of girl that, when I leave for work in the morning, I wait just a little bit 'till she leaves for work too, just to catch a glimpse of that long dark hair and great smile. Hoping that maybe, one day, she'll notice that I'm watching and she'll smile back at me.

S2 She's a Man, Baby, a Man!

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Great party. We should do this more often.

Yeah. Maybe next time we can trim the guest list by one.

Piper. I had to invite Leo. He was at the club when I went to go pick up the supplies. He knew that we were throwing a party.

Well, didn't you think maybe he'd feel a little awkward being here because of Dan?

It doesn't look like he feels too awkward to me. Look, Piper, he's been mortal for what? A couple of weeks now? I mean, I felt bad for him. He doesn't know anybody and it's not like there's a fallen Whitelighters support group to join or anything.

Prue, I'm not upset with you. I'm just… I'm…I'm upset with the whole situation.

Well, Leo's just going to have to accept the fact that you're with... Dan now. You are still with Dan, right?

Yes. Of course. What do you think they're talking about?

You.

Great.

Hey, you guys! Give me a break, it's after midnight, I have mentors tomorrow.

Sorry Pheebs. Didn't realize we were being so loud.

Why don't you take a study break? Clear your head, come on down.

I can't, I have too many phobias. To learn about for my psych exam. I had no idea there are so many. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, kleptophobia, phallusphobia.

Relaxaphobia.

Cute.

Just trying to help.

You can help by keeping it down. Did I mention it's after midnight?

Twice.

Party's breaking up anyway.

Thank you.

What the hell are they talking about?

My favorite ball player? Joe DiMaggio. Hands down.

Dan

DiMaggio? No, I meant when you were growing up.

DiMaggio was... my grandfather’s favorite. That’s why he’s mine too.

Dan

You know Leo, this is just an observation, but uh, you don't like to talk about your past that much. Do you?

It's just not all that interesting, really.

Dan

Not that interesting? I mean, being in the army sounds pretty interesting. How, I mean, how long have you been out?

Piper.

Hi guys. Having fun? Not talking about me too much, I hope.

Dan

No. No. Not at all.

No?

Dan

Actually Leo was about to fill me in on his army experience.

The army? Huh. Whoops. Look at the time. Gotta call it a night. Party's over.

S2 Pardon My Past

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Thanks.

You sure you're alright?

I'm fine, really.

Dan

You're lucky. Falling down like that you really could've hurt yourself.

Maybe we should call it a night, huh? Let her get some rest.

Uh, okay. I'll walk you out.

Dan

Okay. Hey, Leo. Comin'?

Er, no... He has to stay here and...

...Um, take glasses back to P3.

Dan

Now? At this hour?

I'm a tough boss. Ready?

Nice chatting with you.

Dan

Yeah, you too.

I thought he'd never leave.

The hell were you two chatting about all night?

Piper, do you mind? Phoebe, so what really happened?

Uh... Okay, I heard what I thought were party noises. So I came downstairs to check and to yell at you guys. And... I was attacked. By something invisible.

So, what, like a ghost?

I didn't sense another being. It was more, um... I don't know. Like-like a daydream, I guess.

A daydream? Since when do daydreams attack people?

It wasn't really an attack, it was more of... a seduction.

Interesting daydream.