Scoutmaster Lumpus quotes from Camp Lazlo

[as shadow puppet Lumpus] Grumble, grumble, I'm very annoyed. Slinkman! Slinkman!

Lazlo

[laughs] I love this part!

[as shadow puppet Slinkman] Reporting for duty, sir. [as shadow puppet Lumpus] I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out! [as shadow puppet Slinkman] I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight. [as shadow puppet Lumpus, who clears throat]

Lumpus

[walks into Jelly Bean Cabin] Slinkman! Slinkman!

Reporting for duty, sir.

Lumpus

I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out!

I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight.

Yay!

Lumpus

Attention, campers! Attention, campers! Five minutes until the start of the big...Buddy Day...swim finale. So, grab your...buddy and have a...good race! Yeah.

Lazlo

[delirious due to large amounts of blood being sucked from him by the leech] Oygawoygasoyoocha...gotta get to the lake...big RACE!

Lumpus

Slinkman, who is that scout?

Uh...Lazlo, Sir.

Lumpus

No, no, no...the fat one!

Uh...that's a leech, Sir. A sea lamprey, actually.

Lumpus

Oh...a sea lamprey? Well, see that Mr. Lamprey gets a uniform, will you?

Yes, Sir.

Lumpus

[sing song voice] Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Lazlo

Scoutmas-

Lumpus

[angry] Lazlo, look what you've done. You scared it away!

Lazlo

Actually, we scared you which caused you to scare it away.

Uh, Sir, since it's the final one of its kind maybe you might not wanna chop the...

Lumpus

Slinkman, if you don't help me with this, I'll take away Mr. Squishy again.

Lazlo

Now repeat after me. I am a tree.

Lumpus

I am a tree.

Lazlo

Tree, tree, tree!

Lumpus

Tree, tree, tree.

Lazlo

Goodie for me!

Lumpus

Goodie for me.

Lazlo

Wait here.

Lumpus

Wait here.

Lumpus

That's it!

What's it?

Lumpus

This is my ticket outta here! I can finally say good bye to Camp Kidney... [changes the map of Camp Kidney to a world map] And hello to the world! All I have to do is find that one genius. I wonder who it is? [watches Clam outside from a window]

Clam

Apples! [bangs his head against the tree]

Lumpus

Well, we know who it's not.

Clam

Painting done! [shows it to scoutmaster Lumpus]

Lumpus

Oh, yes. Very nice. [mumbles] Worst thing I've ever seen. [gives painting back to Clam as Lumpus walks away] When am I going to find my genius, Slinkman?

Clam

[turns over painting to reveal the Mona Lisa] Uhhh...painting done?

Is everything okay, sir?

Lumpus

Yeah, we're good. [pushes the scouts to the exit] Let's go, let's go, let's go.

But, sir, you're forgetting...

[to the customer] You call that a tip?! [saws the table in half with the chainsaw]

Lumpus

I was once a bean scout too, you know.

Lazlo

Really?! [imagines a young Scoutmaster Lumpus]

Young Lumpus

That's "Loompus!" [kicks his scoutmaster in the shin]

Lazlo

Cute!

Sir, we have a little problem.

Lumpus

Yeah, I know! Who let a monkey in the projector room?

Lumpus

Pass the marshmallows please, Alvin.

Edward

Edward.

Lumpus

What about the Dung Beetles? What did they get?

Ugh, [quivers] ...you don't want to know, sir.

Raj

So, you can just eat those spiny things and nothing will happen to you?

Lumpus

Well, I'll bloat a little... [bloats up like a balloon] ...after that you don't want to know what happens.

Lumpus

I love you Raj!

Raj

Yeah Yeah ditto. Let's just do this.

Lumpus

I despise you, Lazlo.

Lazlo

I love you, Scoutmaster Lumpus!

Lumpus

I despise you, Lazlo.

Lazlo

I love you, Scoutmaster Lumpus!

Lumpus

I despise you, Lazlo.

Lazlo

I love you, Scoutmaster Lumpus!