Harrison quotes from Camp Camp

Gwen

Oh, Jesus Christ- campers, we are winning this fucking trophy!

Neil

How the hell do we do that?

David

By overcoming our differences and working t-

Gwen

NO! Shut up! You are not going to work together!

Harrison

We're not?

Gwen

No! You're all terrible at it! But! We've got something they don't.

Ered

Subpar indoor plumbing?

Gwen

We've got the most bizarre collection of campers with niche talents and ridiculously specific skillsets Lake Lillac has ever seen! And subpar indoor plumbing.

Nerris

[notices a couple with one holding a sword] WHOA! Where are they going!?

David

[forces Nerris to move along] Nowhere! Probably some drug convention!

Find the silver ball. [as he shuffles the cups] Get an authentic Dolex watch!

Harrison

Heh. What an amateur. He doesn't even have a ball.

David

[grabs Harrison's arm and yanks him away] Harrison!

David, look! Zat baldman is handing out flyers with a picture of me!

David

[forces Dolph back to the group] Let's go this way.

Hello, sir. Would you like to help save the kids?

David

I'M TRYING! [the woman walks away]

[walks up to David] Hey, wanna have a good time?

Preston

[rhetorically answering] Sure! David loves having a good time!

David

[nervously laughs] No thanks.

[opens his trenchcoat to reveal flyers and brochures to the museum while his shirt reads "I ❤️ Trench Coats"] You sure? Kids get in free to the museum today! There's hot air balloon rides to the park, all kinds of fun activates for all ages!

David

Oh! Thank you!

Nurf

We're actually looking for some of our missing friends. About, yay high, real nerdy?

Hm... If I were to start somewhere, I'd go with downtown. That's why I got lost as a kid. Good luck! [David and the rest of the campers wave "bye" at him cheerfully; to himself, sadly] Ugh. Never did find my parents.

David

Thanks again for the ride! [walks off]

Anytime! [gets out a bag of candy for the campers] Don't forget about the free candy I promised ya! [the campers cheer in excitement]

David

Nikki? Max? Are you in this horrible alley? [a mugger walks up to him from behind] Scream once if you're being murdered.

Alright, hand it over!

David

[turns to look at the mugger and raises his hands up] Oh my gosh!

I mean it, pal! I'll cut you a new one!

David

A new what!?

Nurf

Whoa! Full size candy bars? That guy wasn't messing around.

Harrison

[waves a candy bar to David] David! You gotta see this!

[notices the kids behind David] Oh, are all these kids with you? Oh man, it's hard out there for a single parent, isn't it?

David

I... I... I...

Oh here, please. [gives David his knife] You need this more than I do. This city is dangerous, but be careful, it's incredibly sharp. Mugged a lot of people with this knife and now you will do.

David

Oh. My fingerprints are on this now.

Nerris

Wow! David got the Sword of Truth! Bonus D 30 by 63 points!

[as he walks off] Always listen to your dad, kids!

Ered

Thanks, dude!