Ered quotes from Camp Camp

Gwen

Oh, Jesus Christ- campers, we are winning this fucking trophy!

Neil

How the hell do we do that?

David

By overcoming our differences and working t-

Gwen

NO! Shut up! You are not going to work together!

Harrison

We're not?

Gwen

No! You're all terrible at it! But! We've got something they don't.

Ered

Subpar indoor plumbing?

Gwen

We've got the most bizarre collection of campers with niche talents and ridiculously specific skillsets Lake Lillac has ever seen! And subpar indoor plumbing.

David

Thanks again for the ride! [walks off]

Anytime! [gets out a bag of candy for the campers] Don't forget about the free candy I promised ya! [the campers cheer in excitement]

David

Nikki? Max? Are you in this horrible alley? [a mugger walks up to him from behind] Scream once if you're being murdered.

Alright, hand it over!

David

[turns to look at the mugger and raises his hands up] Oh my gosh!

I mean it, pal! I'll cut you a new one!

David

A new what!?

Nurf

Whoa! Full size candy bars? That guy wasn't messing around.

Harrison

[waves a candy bar to David] David! You gotta see this!

[notices the kids behind David] Oh, are all these kids with you? Oh man, it's hard out there for a single parent, isn't it?

David

I... I... I...

Oh here, please. [gives David his knife] You need this more than I do. This city is dangerous, but be careful, it's incredibly sharp. Mugged a lot of people with this knife and now you will do.

David

Oh. My fingerprints are on this now.

Nerris

Wow! David got the Sword of Truth! Bonus D 30 by 63 points!

[as he walks off] Always listen to your dad, kids!

Ered

Thanks, dude!

Nerris

[walks up to Ered] If you're looking for something to do, wanna join me for some LARPing?

Ered

[looks up at the ramp where "Race" Kid is on] I mean... [looks back at Nerris, who is sweating for an answer] ...Sure? [Nerris gasps in excitement as the sweat is off her] It looks like there's nothing better to do. [The Butterfinger Effect hits her as she looks at Nerris, who has suddenly changed her outfit into a band player's] That's weird, when did you start playing an instrument?

Nerris

I have no idea!