What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?
Maybe I dumped her!
She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.
Harm!
S4The Harsh Light of Day
AAnya
I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped. And, frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.
And the amazing thing? Still more romantic than Faith.
Whoa! Giles has a TV! Everybody... Giles has a TV, he's shallow like us!
Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
No.
Can I make him a vampire?
No. [Beat] Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.
So what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy, and he goes all evil? God, I'm just a fool.
Well, maybe you made a mistake, but that's okay. Next time, what?
Parker said it's okay to make mistakes. It was sweet.
No, it wasn't. He was saying that so you would take a chance and sleep with him. He's a poophead.
You're right. He's... manipulative and shallow. And why doesn't he want me? Am I repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right?
I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a second.
Maybe Parker and I could still work it out. Do you-you think that we could still work it out?
I think you're missing something about the whole poophead principle.
You know, you go on ahead. I-I think I'm gonna go take a walk.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
S4Fear, Itself
AAnya
You haven't called. Not once!
You said you were over me.
AAnya
And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that's what you wanted to hear.
Well, that's the funny thing about me. I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.
AAnya
That's stupid.
I accept that.
[about her costume] I'm Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake, plus she has that close relationship with God.
[to Oz] And you are?
[Oz opens his jacket and reveals a name tag that says "God."]
Of course. I wish I'd thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could've been God.
Blasphemer.
[reading from the book] "The summoning spell for Gachnar can be shut down in one of two ways. Destroying the Mark of Gachnar..."
[Buffy promptly stamps into the floor, destroying the Mark on the floor and tearing up the boards; she looks very self-satisfied]
[greatly irritated] "...is not one of them, and will, in fact, immediately bring forth the fear demon itself!"
[The demon Gachnar slowly emerges from the pentacle in the floor... and is revealed to be just six inches tall.]
This is Gachnar?
[looks down mockingly at Gachnar] Big overture, little show.
GGachnar
[in a squeaky voice]: I am the Dark Lord of Nightmares! The Bringer of Terror! Tremble before me! Fear me!
He... he's so cute!
GGachnar
Tremble!
[Xander pokes a finger at the tiny demon, speaking to it as if to a puppy.]
Who's a little fear demon? Come on! Who's a little fear demon?
Don't taunt the fear demon.
Why, can he hurt me?
No, it's just... tacky.
[After defeating Gachnar, Giles looks back at the small image of him in the book]
Bloody hell, the inscription!
What?
I should've translated the Gaelic inscription beneath the picture.
What does it say?
... Actual size.
[After defeating Gachnar, Giles looks back at the small image of him in the book]
Some quality treats here, Giles.
Please finish them.
This is much better. There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.
I think I'm gonna barf.
Except that.
AAnya
What?
That's your scary costume?
AAnya
Bunnies frighten me.
Oh, bloody hell. The inscription.
What's the matter?
I should've translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.
What's it say?
"Actual size."
S4Beer Bad
Aren't you too young to be a bartender?
Au contraire, mon frere.
Mon frere means brother.
Mon girl-frere. Behold! [holds up a fake ID]
I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up.
What gives it away?
Looking at it.
Buffy that is my best friend you need to think about not Parker. He's no good. There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis.
Nothing can defeat the penis! [looks around] Too loud, very unseemly.
Hey, you got a table.
I had to kill a man.
Well it's a really good table.
I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
I didn't know it was evil.
You knew it was beer!
Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove!
It was the early seventies, and you should know better.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.