[about Jenny] Hey. Is she okay?
Um... the hills are not alive.
I'm sorry to hear that, I think.
I don't think she'll ever really forgive me. Maybe she shouldn't.
I never wanted you to see that side of me.
I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup. And then I find out that you're a person.
Some are even, uh, shortsighted, foolish people.
So, after all this time, we finally find out that we do have something in common. Which, apart from being a little weird... is kind of okay. I think we're supposed to be training right now.
Yes, yes. Um, need to concentrate on your flexibility.
And you know what? I have just the perfect music. Go on, say it. You know you want to.
It's not music, it's just, uh, meaningless sounds.
Yes. Thanks. Bay City Rollers. Now, that's music.
"Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?" Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?
So, mark "none of the above".
Well, there are no boxes for "none of the above". That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.
What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
You're not gonna be young forever.
Yes, but I'll always be stupid. [silence. He looks around] Let's not all rush to disagree.
I wish we could be regular kids.
Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.
D Dalton
Yes, but ... The Order of Taraka. I mean, isn't that overkill?
No, I think it's just enough kill.
I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.
I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.
Does "rest in peace" have no sanctity to you people? Oh, I forgot. You're not a people.
[Buffy fights and stakes a vampire]
[Buffy awakes to find herself being attacked by Kendra]
[Buffy and Kendra fighting]
Thanks for the wake up, but I'll stick with my clock radio.
[Buffy fights and meets Kendra]
Come on, don't make me do the chick fight thing.
Who am I? You attack me. Who the hell are you?
I'm Kendra, the Vampire Slayer.
You know what? I'm going. I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Then go! I'm not stopping you!
I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Not just any girl. You're special.
I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with you!
I hope these are my last few moments. Three more seconds with you and I'm gonna...
"I'm gonna" what? [steps closer] Coward!
[They kiss]
...We so need to get out of here!
[nods, frightened] Uh huh.
There's a Slayer handbook?
Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...
After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.
Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?
And those two, they also know you are the Slayer?
Did anyone explain to you what "secret identity" means?
Nope. Must be in the handbook. Right after the chapter on personality removal.
It's your lucky day, Spike.
No, thank you. How's your arm?
You can still play guitar okay?
You know, I never really thanked you.
Please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red and I have to bail. It's not pretty.
Well then forget-that thing. Especially the part where I kind of owe you my life.
[Oz pulls a cracker from the box, hoping to change the subject.]
Look. Monkey. And he has a little hat. And little pants.
The monkey is the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that... You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen... So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know the monkey's just, [in French accent] "I mock you with my monkey pants," then there's a big coup at the zoo...
All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
[panting] Okay. One more time. You're the who?
Nice cover story, but here's a tip. You might want try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.
You can't stop me. Even if you kill me, another Slayer will be sent to take me place.
Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!
Nonsense. There is but one. And I am she.
Okay. A scenario. You back off. I'll back off. But you promise not to go all wiggy, until we can go to my watcher, and figure this out.
You know, "no kicko, no fighto".
To do my duty. I'm here to kill vampires.
Thank you for the shirt. It was very generous of you.
Hey, it looks better on-- well, me, but no worries. Now, when we get to the airport...
I get on the plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat, not the cargo hold.
That is not traveling undercover.
Exactly. Relax. You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch the movie-- well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase.
I, um... I just wanted to thank you for helping me save Angel.
I'm not telling me Watcher about that. It is too strange that a Slayer loves a vampire.
Still, he is pretty cute.
Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.
You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.
Did you get that from your handbook?
I guess it's something I really can't fight. I'm a freak.
Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
