TV show quotes
[about the school] Situation still normal. Well, or as normal as this school ever sees.
So it appears.
Well, no fires, no one's heads going kablooey. And the swing choir and the marching band have gone back to their normal, healthy seething resentment.
Maybe you're right. Maybe everything is fine.
Everything's terrible. Total catastrophe.
Giles, what's wrong?
Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I - I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?
Uh, that would - that would be me. Hi. I'm Robin Wood.
Oh, sorry. Rupert Giles. Sorry. Buffy tells me you're something of a freelance demon fighter. [Robin closes door] Oh, yes, yes. I, um, I'm relieved. We're running dangerously low on allies.
So, we didn't stop it, then?
Uh, no, the seers at the coven are certain the First is continuing to gather its forces. I'm afraid war is inevitable. [regarding the library] So, we should go before the school board.
So, did you bring back any Potentials?
Um, rea-- no. Actually, m-my, uh, my trip is about something else. It's–it's, um, regarding Spike.
Spike. What about him?
I told you my concerns when you recklessly chose to remove the chip from his head.
Wait, sorry -- chip?
Well, uh, it's a... long story.
The military put a chip in Spike's head so he couldn't hurt anyone.
And that would be the abridged version.
But he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore because he has a soul now.
Unless the First triggers him again.
Triggers the chip?
No, the trigger's a post-hypnotic thing. The First put it in his head. It was... made him... He was killing again.
So, he has a trigger, a soul, and a chip?
Not anymore!
It was killing him, Giles!
The trigger?
No, the chip. The trigger's not active anymore.
Because the military gave him a soul?
[Giles tries to think an adequate response. Buffy glares at Robin, who gestures in surrender.]
Uh... sorry.
So, Spike's trigger's been active this entire time?
How can Buffy take this for granted? I mean, he lives in our house, we train with him.
Don't waste your time down that road. Spike's got some sort of "Get Out of Jail Free" card that doesn't apply to the rest of us. I mean, he could slaughter a hundred frat boys, and... [everyone shoots a look at Anya] Forgiveness makes us human, blah-dee-blah-blah-blah.
Willow, a call for you from L.A. Somebody named Fred. The guy sounds kind of effeminate.
Are you drunk?
[looks down] A little bit. [Mother coughs, he walks forward] Think of it. No more sickness. No more dying. You'll never age another day. Let me do this for you.
Whatcha wanna do to her, vamp? Huh? Somthin' like this? [punches Spike]
(stands) Nice punch you got there. Lemme guess. Leather pants, nice right cross, doe eyes, holier-than-thou glower...you must be Faith.
[shrugs and grins] Oh, goodie. I'm famous.
Told you were coming. Bit of a misunderstanding here. I'm--
Spike. [nods] Yeah, we've met before.
We have? I don't think we-- [Faith kicks Spike in the torso] Bloody hell! What're you doing? I'm on your side.
Yeah? Maybe you haven't heard. I've reformed. [punches Spike]
So have I. [punches Faith] I reformed way before you did. [Faith punches Spike] Stop... [punches Faith] hitting... [punches Faith again] me! We're on the same side.
Please. You think I'm stupid?
Well, yeah. [grins]
You were attacking that girl. [punches Spike]
[Someone punches Faith in the face, knocking her down. Pan over to show it's Buffy.]
[innocently] Sorry, Faith. I didn't realize that was you.
It's all right, B. Luckily, you still punch like you used to.
You OK?
Yeah. Terrific.
[to Buffy] You're protecting vampires? Are you the bad slayer now? Am I the good slayer now?
He's with me. He has a soul.
Oh, he's like Angel?
No!
Sort of.
I am nothing like Angel.
He fights on my side. Which is more than I can say for some of us.
Angel's dull as a table lamp! And we have very different coloring.
Yeah, well if he's so good, what's he doing chasing down defenseless--
[The young woman that Spike was chasing stands up, growls, and attacks Faith, knocking her down.]
That's one of the bad guys.
You should make 'em wear a sign.
"Drink of this, for it is my blood." You know, I always loved the story of the Last Supper. The body and blood of Christ becoming rich, red wine. I recall, as a boy, though, I couldn't help but think: what would happen if you were at the Last Supper, and you ordered the white? A nice oaky Chardonnay or White Zin. I mean, would he make that out of his lymph or some-all? Never did bring it up. Suppose there was a reason why I never spent too long in one parish. Just looking for answers. Just looking for the Lord in the wrong damn places. Then you showed me the light.
Every guy's got some whack fantasy. Scratch the surface of any granola-type dude - naughty nurses and horny cheerleaders... I figure, if you can't beat 'em--
Join 'em.
Just don't forget who's on top.
That, I suspect, would be you.
I've been through more battles with Buffy than you all can ever imagine. She's stopped everything that's ever come up against her. [Buffy and Faith walk in] She's laid down her life --- literally --- to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times, and she's still standing. You're scared? That's smart. You got questions? You should. But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle... I've seen her heart, and this time, not literally. And I'm telling you, right now, she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You gotta trust her. She's earned it.
Damn. I never knew you were that cool.
Well, you always were a little slow.
[to Faith] Well, you're the other one, aren't you. You're Cain to her Abel. No offense meant to Cain, of course.
I never was one for the good book.
Oh, it has its moments.
[grabs Xander] You're the one who sees everything, aren't you? Well, let's see what we can't do about that. [gouges out Xander's left eye]
I might need a parrot.
Huh?
Well, to go with the eyepatch, to really complete the look. I think I still have that costume from Halloween.
Yeah, and don't underestimate the impact of a peg leg. Maybe the hospital can hook you up with a nice one. Maybe they have a two-body-parts-for-the-price-of-one kind of deal.
Oh, you know what the best part is? No one will ever make me watch "Jaws 3-D" again.
Okay... I know you're all upset... and I, myself, would much rather be sitting at the bedside of my one-eyed ex-fiancé than killing time here with you people in this overcrowded and, might I add, increasingly ripe-smelling basement. And I would be, too, if not for a certain awkward discussion he and I recently had right over there on that cot immediately following some exciting and unexpected breakup sex.
[The Potentials on the cot awkwardly get off it. Andrew jots down "breakup sex" on the board.]
There's evidence that Caleb may have established a foothold up north.
That's great.
I, em, I sent Spike to look into it.
Spike. Is this a mission from which you intend Spike to return alive?
Yes. I sent Andrew with him.
Again I ask the question.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
