AAnya
Is Xander all right?
Looks okay.
AAnya
Damn him!
S7First Date
AAnya
And I wasn't talking about your date anyway. I was talking about this sham date of Xander's. I think it's part of a plan to make me jealous.
[shakes her head] Well, it's not working.
AAnya
Are you nuts? Of course it's working. Observe my-my bitter ranting. Hear the shrill edge of hysteria in my voice.
Um, I should really go find something else to wear. [walks out of the room]
AAnya
Fine, go. Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage. [Buffy stops, turns to look at Anya] I'm also gonna pee, so you should probably go.
I should move out. Leave town before it is time for me.
No, you have to stay.
You've got another demon fighter now.
That's not why I need you here.
Is that right? Why's that, then?
Because I'm not ready for you not to be here.
What happened?
What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me.
[Anya rolls her eyes]
I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.
What?
You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?
[wistfully] Captain Archer... [nods]
Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.
S7Get It Done
Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone.
AAnya
So what?
It's my bone! Just drop it.
Andrew is our... actually, he's our hostage.
I like to think of myself more as a "guest-age".
Oh. Hey. Hi. Well, Buffy, I see our preparations for the... school... pep-dance-cheer-drill-contest are really coming along. "Bring it on!"
Will, it's okay, he knows.
Oh, thank God. If I had to explain all these weapons? I had nothing.
Buffy tells me you have been, umm... oh, how shall I put it?... experimenting... [long embarrassed pause] ...with the magics.
Oh! Yeah. Oh, nothing too heavy, though. Just the lighter, safer stuff. Uh, if Kennedy asks, her pointy stuff's right there. See you inside. [to Buffy] So much cooler than Snyder!
[when Willow left] She really almost destroyed the world?
Yep.
Oh I don't know. It's just... The First is coming... and look at us, the army! We've got a bunch of fighters with nothing to hit, a wicca who won't-a, and the brains of our operation wears oven mitts.
Well, yeah, but only because you kinda told us to. You're our leader, Buffy, as in "follow the".
Well, from now on, I'm your leader as in "do what I say".
Jawohl. But let's not try to forget, we're also your friends.
AAnya
I'm not.
Then why are you here? Aside from getting rescued, what is that you do?
AAnya
I provide much needed... sarcasm.
Um... that'd kinda be my job actually.
How you doing?
Thanks for bringing me back... again.
Oh, it's what I do.
I was hard on you guys today.
Oh, it's all right. You needed to be. Although, Twinkies and Kisses-- also peachy motivational tools. You okay?
I think I made a mistake.
What?
Those men that I met, you know, the shadowmen, they offered me more power, but I didn't like the loophole.
So you turned it down? It's okay, Buffy. We'll get by. We always do.
I don't know. They showed me--
Showed you what?
That the first Slayer was right. It isn't enough.
Why, Buffy? What did you see? What did they show you?
S7Storyteller
[The scene opens with a Masterpiece Theatre-like setting, with Andrew reading a book.]
Oh, hello there, gentle viewers.
[He closes the book.]
You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? Adventure and heroics and discovery -- don't they just take you away? Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind. A little tale I like to call... Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyrs.
[A vampire knocks Buffy to the ground. Cut to Andrew in his "study."]
Ouch! My goodness! Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second vampire, concealed by cover of darkness, ready--
[There's a knock at the door, which Andrew ignores.]
... ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn.
[Cut to the bathroom, where Andrew sits on the closed toilet, trying to continue his narration.]
Let's rejoin them now to see--
[Suddenly, Anya barges in.]
AAnya
For God's sakes, Andrew! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
Entertaining and educating.
AAnya
Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
Are you still filming me? Stop!
But it's a valuable record. An important document for the ages. A Slayer in action.
A nerd in pain. Would they like that? 'cause we could do that.
It's a full house. I think it's a good time to do some introductions, don't you, gentle viewers?
...
[bright fantasy shot, clear, emotional voice] You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and the face of an angel. She's never afraid because she knows her side will always win. [Spike enters shot, somehow shirtless] Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although, technically as a vampire, he's room-temperature. [Anya enters shot, eating grapes] Anya. A feisty waif with a fiery temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides even from herself. [pan to unnamed Potential Slayer eating cereal] This lovely girl... [uncertain - back to normal voice] I don't remember her name.
There something you can see going on between Principal Wood and Spike ... sexual tension you could cut with a knife!
[Andrew is filming Spike smoking a cigarette. We see Spike through the camera]
Hey, I told you get that thing out of my face! Now get out of here before I tear your head off!
Spike, the light was behind you.
Oh sorry. [Takes a step forward] Hey, I told you to get that...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.