Robin Wood quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy

I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads up before somebody dies.

Robin

What do you mean usually?

Robin

Well, then, I'd, um, I'd like to take you out to dinner, if that's all right with you. I mean, you don't have to. I'm certainly not saying come to dinner if you enjoy having a job. [chuckles] You know, I may have to make up a document saying I didn't just say that and have you sign it.

Buffy

Sure. I'd be happy to have dinner with you.

Robin

Great. I'll draw up the paperwork.

Willow

Oh. Hey. Hi. Well, Buffy, I see our preparations for the... school... pep-dance-cheer-drill-contest are really coming along. "Bring it on!"

Buffy

Will, it's okay, he knows.

Willow

Oh, thank God. If I had to explain all these weapons? I had nothing.

Robin

Buffy tells me you have been, umm... oh, how shall I put it?... experimenting... [long embarrassed pause] ...with the magics.

Willow

Oh! Yeah. Oh, nothing too heavy, though. Just the lighter, safer stuff. Uh, if Kennedy asks, her pointy stuff's right there. See you inside. [to Buffy] So much cooler than Snyder!

Wood

[when Willow left] She really almost destroyed the world?

Buffy

Yep.

Buffy

[about the school] Situation still normal. Well, or as normal as this school ever sees.

Robin

So it appears.

Buffy

Well, no fires, no one's heads going kablooey. And the swing choir and the marching band have gone back to their normal, healthy seething resentment.

Buffy

Maybe you're right. Maybe everything is fine.

Giles

Everything's terrible. Total catastrophe.

Buffy

Giles, what's wrong?

Giles

Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I - I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?

Robin

Uh, that would - that would be me. Hi. I'm Robin Wood.

Giles

Oh, sorry. Rupert Giles. Sorry. Buffy tells me you're something of a freelance demon fighter. [Robin closes door] Oh, yes, yes. I, um, I'm relieved. We're running dangerously low on allies.

Buffy

So, we didn't stop it, then?

Giles

Uh, no, the seers at the coven are certain the First is continuing to gather its forces. I'm afraid war is inevitable. [regarding the library] So, we should go before the school board.

Buffy

So, did you bring back any Potentials?

Giles

Um, rea-- no. Actually, m-my, uh, my trip is about something else. It's–it's, um, regarding Spike.

Buffy

Spike. What about him?

Giles

I told you my concerns when you recklessly chose to remove the chip from his head.

Robin

Wait, sorry -- chip?

Giles

Well, uh, it's a... long story.

Buffy

The military put a chip in Spike's head so he couldn't hurt anyone.

Giles

And that would be the abridged version.

Buffy

But he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore because he has a soul now.

Giles

Unless the First triggers him again.

Robin

Triggers the chip?

Buffy

No, the trigger's a post-hypnotic thing. The First put it in his head. It was... made him... He was killing again.

Robin

So, he has a trigger, a soul, and a chip?

Giles

Not anymore!

Buffy

It was killing him, Giles!

Robin

The trigger?

Buffy

No, the chip. The trigger's not active anymore.

Robin

Because the military gave him a soul?

Robin

Uh... sorry.

Kennedy

All I'm saying is now that Buffy's not here, we finally have some say in how and when we lose our necks.

Robin

Maybe you don't have to be so blunt about the "losing of the necks" bit.

Let the girl speak the truth. We're all on death's door, repeatedly ringing the doorbell, like maniacal Girl Scouts trying to make quota.

Robin

That's exactly what The First does. Finds your Achilles' heel.

Faith

Nah, it just talked to me. What? It does a heel thing, too?

Robin

It's a phrase. Your weak spot.

Faith

Oh. The school thing. I was kind of absent that decade.

Faith

Guy looks at me, let's just say his priorities... shift.

Robin

Why, because you're so hot?

Faith

Is what it is, yo.

Robin

Oh, please! I am so much prettier than you are. Oh, and, uh, for the record, our little encounter didn't exactly change my world.

Faith

[stops grinning] You're trippin'! That was rock 'em, sock 'em!

Robin

No, no, no, no! It was, it was nice enough, you know, and-and you're, you're very, um, um, enthused, and, I think with a little more experience, you--

Faith

Dude, I got mad skills!

Robin

Yeah, of course. Let's finish up.

Faith

[takes off her belt] Oh, hell with that! We're going again, baby. You're gonna learn a little respect here, pal.

Robin

Faith, [laughs] make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.

Faith

What would be the surprise?

Robin

You... do know the meaning of the word, right?

Faith

Fine. Deal.

Robin

Good enough. [goes back to work]

Faith

No way you're prettier than me.

Robin

Little bit, yeah.