You sure you don't wanna stop and pick up some burgers or something, you know, road trip food?
It's not a road trip. It's a covert operation.
Right. Right. Gotcha... I--I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They're really good.
Not as good as those onion blossom things.
It's an onion... and it's a flower. I--I don't understand how such a thing is possible.
See, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep-fry it root-side up for about 5 minutes.
Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.
And it's automatically you. You really do think you're better than we are.
But we don't know. We don't know if you're actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that's the legacy.
But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You've never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn't make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us.
All I'm saying is now that Buffy's not here, we finally have some say in how and when we lose our necks.
Maybe you don't have to be so blunt about the "losing of the necks" bit.
Let the girl speak the truth. We're all on death's door, repeatedly ringing the doorbell, like maniacal Girl Scouts trying to make quota.
We were never close. You just wanted me because I was... unattainable.
You think that's all that was?
Please, let's not go over the past.
Oh, no, no! Oh, let's hold on here! I've hummed along to your pity ditty. I think I should have the mic for a bit.
Fine. The stage is yours. Cheer me up.
Thank you. That really helped.
I'm not tryin' to cheer you up.
Then what are you trying to say?
I don't know! I'll know when I'm done sayin' it. Something pissed me off, and I just-- "unattainable," that's it.
Fine. I'm attainable. I'm a-- I'm an "attain-a-thon." May I please just go to sleep?
You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You... Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy.
I don't want to be the One.
I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.
That's exactly what The First does. Finds your Achilles' heel.
Nah, it just talked to me. What? It does a heel thing, too?
It's a phrase. Your weak spot.
Oh. The school thing. I was kind of absent that decade.
FThe First (as Buffy)
I envy them. Isn't that the strangest thing?
Well, it does throw me just a tad. I mean, they're barely more than animals. Feedin' off each other's flesh, it's nauseatin'. But you, you're everywhere. You're in the hearts of little children. You're in the souls of the rich. You're the fire that makes people kill and hate. The fire that will cure the world of weakness. They're just sinners. You are sin.
FThe First (as Buffy)
I do enjoy your sermons.
And you're in me. Gave me strength no man can have.
FThe First (as Buffy)
You're the only man strong enough to BE my vessel and I know you feel me, but... I know why they grab at each other. To feel. I want to feel. I want to wrap my hands around some innocent neck and feel it crack.
Hi, everybody. I missed you guys a lot. Sorry we took so long getting back from our mission... But we had to wait out the sun and, well, I think our mission went very well. We rode on Spike's hog, which was very cool, and played some amusing games and, oh, we got some information. But do you know what? I really need to urinate.
There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
Also, you went evil and were killing people.
Good point. Also a factor.
But you're right. I mean, like... I guess everyone's alone, but... being a Slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
And no one else can feel it... Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.
And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die, which they-they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane... and yet here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do! They never... they never quit. So I guess I'll keep fighting too.
That was kind of beautiful. You, you love humans.
Yes you do. [singing] You love them.
AWAncient Woman
You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there.
AWAncient Woman
[admires the scythe] A weapon. A scythe. Forged in secrecy for one like you who... I'm sorry. What's your name?
AWAncient Woman
No, really. [Buffy shrugs] We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who--
Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.
AWAncient Woman
Ahh, yes, then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.
Oh! So you're like... what are you?
AWAncient Woman
Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Hence, the Luxor Casino theme.
AWAncient Woman
Forged there, it was put to use right here... to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the Earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town, and now there was you. And the scythe remained hidden.
I don't understand. How is it possible that we didn't know any of this?
GGuardian
We hid, too. We had to, until now. We're the last surprise.
[about Spike] It's different. He's different. He has a soul now... What?
That's great! Everyone's got a soul now.
You know, I started it. The whole having-a-soul. Before it was... all the cool new thing.
Oh my god, are you twelve?
I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.
You're not getting the brush off. Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?
Guy looks at me, let's just say his priorities... shift.
Why, because you're so hot?
Oh, please! I am so much prettier than you are. Oh, and, uh, for the record, our little encounter didn't exactly change my world.
[stops grinning] You're trippin'! That was rock 'em, sock 'em!
No, no, no, no! It was, it was nice enough, you know, and-and you're, you're very, um, um, enthused, and, I think with a little more experience, you--
Yeah, of course. Let's finish up.
[takes off her belt] Oh, hell with that! We're going again, baby. You're gonna learn a little respect here, pal.
Faith, [laughs] make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.
What would be the surprise?
You... do know the meaning of the word, right?
Good enough. [goes back to work]
No way you're prettier than me.
