[From "I've Got a Theory"]
It could be bunnies!
[Everyone stares at her awkwardly; cricket noises are heard]
[Anya suddenly sings loudly, hard rock style, complete with spotlights and pyrotechnics]
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?!
What do they need such good eyesight for anywaaaaay?!
Bunnies, bunnies, IT MUST BE BUNNIES!
[Everyone stares at her again]
So, uh, no research? Nothing going on? Monsters or whatnot? Good! Good. Uh, so, did anybody...uh...last night, you know, did anybody, um...burst into song?
We thought it was just us!
Well, I sang, but I had my guitar at the hotel...
It was bizarre. We were talking, and then it was like -
...Like you were in a musical.
...That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldn't see and the synchronized dancing from the room service chaps...
We did a whole duet about dish washing.
And we were arguing and, and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies and a dance with coconuts.
Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.
Don't! Just... don't. [shakes head.] There's nothing you can say.
To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you after what Glory did to me?
Violate you? I... I-I didn't ... mean anything like that, I-I, I just wanted us not to fight any more. I love you.
If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.
But I-I just wanted to make things better. Better for us.
But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.
Okay. I'm ... I realize I, I did it wrong.
You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options. You just ... you just do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.
[apprehensive.] But I... I just wanna help people.
Maybe that's how it started, but ... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking. Including me.
[Tara looks away.]
I don't think this is gonna work.
Hey. It is, i-it's working. [Tara just looks at her, then looks down.] Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.
[Tara looks back at her.]
Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.
...
We'll get our memory back, it'll all be right as rain.
Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! [counting them on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god... I'm English.
Welcome to the Nancy tribe.
You don't suppose you and I...we're not related, are we?
There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.
[gives her a flattered smile, then turns back to Spike] Yes, and you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and ... disappointment. Older brother?
Father. Oh God, how I must hate you!
Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... "Joan".
BJBuffy/Joan
What? Did you just "ugh" my name?
No, I just... I mean, Joan, it's so blah.
BJBuffy/Joan
I like it. I feel like a "Joan".
Fine, that's your purgative.
BJBuffy/Joan
"Prerogative".
BJBuffy/Joan
Whatever, Umad.
BJBuffy/Joan/Dawn
[unison.] Boy, you're a pain in the... / Boy, you're bossy!
[They smile and hug each other.]
[watching them hug] [to Giles] You never showed me affection like that... [Giles looks at him, bewildered] I'd wager.
[Buffy/Joan discovers that Randy/Spike is a Vampire]
BJBuffy/Joan
I kill your kind.
SRSpike/Randy
And I bite yours. So why don't I want to bite you?
...
SRSpike/Randy
I must be a vampire with a soul. I'm a good guy on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless!
BJBuffy/Joan
A vampire with a soul? Oh, my God! How lame is that?
You have to be strong. I-I'm trying to--
Trying to-to what? Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need somebody?
So don't. Please don't. I can't do this without you.
You can. That's why I'm going. As long as I stay, you will always turn to me if something comes up that you feel you can't handle, and I'll step in, because-- (sighs) because I can't bear to see you suffer.
Me too. Hate suffering. Had about as much of it as I can take.
Believe me, I'm loathe to 'cause you more, but this-- I've taught you all I can about being the Slayer, and your mother taught you what you needed to know about life. You... You're not gonna trust that until you're forced to stand alone.
But why now? Now that you know where I've been, what I'm going through?
Now more than ever. The temptation to give up is going to be overwhelming, and I can't let--
So I won't. No giving up. You can be here, and I can still be strong.
Buffy, I've thought this over and over. I believe it's the right thing to do.
[after Willow has transformed Amy from rat back to human]
Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like ... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks! [Willow looks nervous] But it can still be OK ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like ... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at... [sees Willow's expression] Oh. Oh, God. [sighs, anxiously] He hasn't asked someone else, has he?
Uh, Amy ... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. [Amy stares] Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's ... kinda over.
How long was I in the cage? [Willow is afraid to answer] How long?!
Hey. I just... B-Buffy didn't come home last night... either, so...
Uh, hey, uh, this is Amy. Amy, Tara. Tara, Amy.
Fine, I-I'd b-better g-get going. [Tara turns to go]
No, that's fair. I was a rat.
