I see you filming, Linetti! What's in the yogurt?
Normal stuff. Nothing you'd use to make a sidewalk with.
Attention, squad. I just got word from Peralta and Boyle.
AmyDid they make their bust? Did they save the precinct?
No, they decided to bring in a bigger fish. They're not gonna make the hearing.
So Jake's doing the right thing instead of the selfish thing? [To Amy] You did this to him.
Look, I know we want this precinct to survive, but I'm proud of them. Loyalty to your friends and fellow officers is important, but what's more important is our loyalty to this city, and its citizens. I guess what I'm trying to say is... let's go get drunk.
[The detectives are meeting at a bar after the 99th Precinct was saved at the last minute]
Apparently the community came to our aid. There was a swell of online support orchestrated by an organization called "Ginazone".
I think you mean "Ginazon". I was behind the bar the whole time. Another great Gina Linetti entrance.
BBartender
I told you- you can't be back here.
And I told you- I already am!
I was live-streaming a prank when Captain Holt made his big speech about how you did the right thing for the city. I guess people were moved, they were like, "What can we do to help?" and I said "Call the Commissioner's office."
The G-Hive is real! I can't believe you did it! Gina, you're a legend! To the Nine-Nine!
HTHolt, Terry, Scully, Hitchcock, Amy, Diaz, Boyle
To the Nine-Nine!
[Everyone drinks the toast but immediately spits out the beer bottles' contents.]
[live-streaming the prank with her phone] Y'ALL JUST DRANK CEMEEEEENT!
So she's stress-braiding. Big deal. That's like a one on the Santiago panic scale.
Yeah, but we've also jumped up to level two: creepily singing songs from The Great American Songbook. [In a flashback, Amy sits up creepily singing "You're a Grand Old Flag" while Jake lies awake listening.] So, yeah, it's a little tough right now, but I think the worst is behind us.
Amy
WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG TO COOK MY FRICKIN' OATMEAL?!
[Amy picks up the microwave, throws it on the floor, pulls out her collapsible baton, and starts beating and stomping the microwave.]
Amy
Paris sounds fun! Or, we could just go someplace we can actually afford.
Oh, we can afford it. Don't forget I robbed a bank. Sitting on $26 million, baby!
JMJudge Marinovich
[Stops while walking by] Excuse me?
Amy
He's kidding!
Yeah, I'm innocent. Not guilty. I'll see you when we get in there. [Marinovich gives him a strange look and leaves.] Nice talking to you, Judge...
Amy
Jake! Jake! This was a mistake; we have to get Langdon off the stand now!
SMSam Miller
[Questioning Matthew Langdon, who is on the witness stand] And how would you describe the Lieutenant?
Amy
He works for Hawkins! He put the money in the accounts!
LLangdon
Melanie Hawkins was the most honorable cop I ever worked with. And the only reason that I am here is because of that man- Jake Peralta. He offered me $300,000 to lie and say that she set 'em up.
[To Diaz] Okay, this is bad. This is really bad. But just remember: we are not going to jail. We didn't do it. We're innocent.
[Cut to the Jury Foreman delivering the jury's verdict]
JFJury Foreman
Guilty on all charges.
Amy
Jake, I'm always gonna be one step ahead of you. You've lost the ability to surprise me. Ya just plain boring.
Again, weird take on a very loving relationship.
Amy
And it's midnight, so I guess I'm an amazing human/genius.
Yeah. Although you might wanna read the inscription on that there belt.
Amy
Why? Oh, no, what does it say? [reads inscription] "Amy Santiago, will you marry me?"
[Amy turns around to see Jake on one knee holding out an engagement ring]
Amy
I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening right now.
"I'm so confused I don't know what's happening right now": title of your sex tape.
Amy
"Oh, my God, I'm shaking. I'm definitely gonna cry. [grins] Title of your sex tape. [beat] Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist? If this is part of the heist, I will dump you so hard.
No, please, Ames, look, it's really happening, okay? It's not part of the heist. I promise, this is real.
Amy
It is?
Yeah. Okay, here it goes. Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
Amy
No, no, it's okay. Go on.
I love how much you pretend to like Die Hard.
Amy
I like the second one.
You don't have to. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. [pause] Also, for reals, I love your butt.
Amy
I love yours too.
Gross. [chuckles] Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
Amy
Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
[They kiss]
Amy
I love you so much.
[busting into the evidence room] Hey, jerkos, this little Tramp escaped, so that ought to teach... [notices Jake's ring box] D-did you just...? [Jake nods] And did you say...? [Amy nods whilst showing her ring]
[Charles hyperventilates and faints]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine · 153 quotes
