I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening right now.
"I'm so confused I don't know what's happening right now": title of your sex tape.
"Oh, my God, I'm shaking. I'm definitely gonna cry. [grins] Title of your sex tape. [beat] Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist? If this is part of the heist, I will dump you so hard.
No, please, Ames, look, it's really happening, okay? It's not part of the heist. I promise, this is real.
It is?
Yeah. Okay, here it goes. Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
No, no, it's okay. Go on.
I love how much you pretend to like Die Hard.
I like the second one.
You don't have to. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. [pause] Also, for reals, I love your butt.
I love yours too.
Gross. [chuckles] Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
[They kiss]
I love you so much.
[busting into the evidence room] Hey, jerkos, this little Tramp escaped, so that ought to teach... [notices Jake's ring box] D-did you just...? [Jake nods] And did you say...? [Amy nods whilst showing her ring]
[Charles hyperventilates and faints]
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