Shawn Hunter quotes from Boy Meets World

Shawn

[in Turner's hospital room] Jon, how could you be in here? How could you screw up on your bike? I've never seen you screw up on anything.I'm the screw up remember? Come on, you remember. Don't do this to me John.I don't do alone real good. [Looks at Turner's heart monitor] Look, I know you're in there, but it's like you're not really here.You're not talking, but I know you're here so I'm gonna talk and you can listen.John, even when I was at the center, it was all the things you taught me that made me wonder if it was the right place for me or not.But you didn't teach me enough.You and Cory, and my parents, and the Matthews, and the handful of people who really care about me! So don't blow me off John! Don't blow me off God! I've never asked you for anything and I've never wanted to come to you like this, but don't take Turner away from me, he's not done yelling at me yet.

Shawn

Hey, Rosemary. How's the baby?

Shawn

Cory, we're going down to enlist. Uncle Sam wants us. I wasn't gonna go, but he was pointing right at me.

Shawn

I can't believe you hit your dad! Now, does he have to leave the house in shame? Do you get his woman?

Shawn

We've had to deal with life, death, and Feeny.

Cory

Shawn and I have another project we're working on.

Topanga

What is it?

Shawn

You know how those dolphins get caught in the tuna nets?

Topanga

Yeah?

Shawn

It's got nothing to do with that.

Cory

[referring to a baseball card] She paid $7 for it at a swap-meet.

Shawn

$7 in dog years: a Cal Ripkin rookie goes for $150 easy. Your grandmother must really love you.

Cory

Or she shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Shawn

You're kidding, aren't you?

Cory

I'm not sure.

Alan

Where are Eric and Cory?

Shawn

They... went to the library.

Alan

You mean the public library, the one that closes at nine?

Shawn

Oh no, the other one.

Alan

I'm gonna take Morgan upstairs, and then you and I are gonna talk a little more.

Shawn

Like a relationship-building thing?

Alan

No. [goes upstairs]

Shawn

Wow. For the first time in my life, I'm in trouble with someone else's dad!

Shawn

That's gotta be a typo!

Cory

It's hand-written!

Shawn

They were too perfect.

Cory

Yeah, too T.V.

Feeny

I agree with you, Mr. Matthews.

Cory

That's not like you.

Feeny

Which brings me to today's assignment.

Cory

That's like you.

Minkus

Don't you hate it when Mom and Dad fight?

Shawn

No. Into it.

Cory

Well, we won't be fighting for long. I've got something that'll take the fight right out of Mom. Read it and weep, Little Big Hair.

Topanga

[reading off Cory's paper] "My model wife won't care how dirty my room gets. She'll always let me win at video games. She'll play street hockey any time of the day or night." Why don't you just marry Shawn?

Cory

Because our kids would look like horses.

Cory

Mr. Feeny, effort is my middle name.

Shawn

Because it starts with F.

Cory

"I'm Blowin' Up Your Head, Part 6: Stumpy's Revenge" I thought Stumpy died in "Part 5."

Shawn

He did. That's why he wants revenge.

Topanga

Each of our bodies is the master creation of Mother Nature.

Shawn

Well, except for Minkus. He was created by Mother Goose.

Feeny

You will be a spear-carrier.

Shawn

So this guy I play is like, what, a warrior and a hero?

Feeny

No, this guy you play has very few lines to memorize.