Bones quotes

Brennan

(opening the tornado cover door) You lied to me! I could have missed this!

Hodgins

[sees the "Gramps" tattoo on Michael's arm] He's tattooed? You tattooed MY CHILD?

Relax. It's a press on - for now.

Fisher

The only difference between "try" and "triumph" is a little "umph".

Fisher

My mom puts motivational sayings up on the fridge. Oh God, she's destroying me. [walks out]

Brennan

The mighty hut appears to be leaking.

It's the giant flaw in our system: trying to make the system more secure, we make it more complex. But the more complex we make it, the more insecure we actually are.

Booth

Well, it turns out I'm not a complex guy. I'm a simple guy. And simple guys take down guys like you.

Caroline

Why is that man wearing an Easter egg on his head?

Caroline

This set of orders was passed down through channels that even the Almighty Himself would need an atlas and a double-shot of bourbon to navigate!

Brennan

We have a house, Booth. You found our home. [smiles]

Booth

We have a home.

Hodgins

Look, all I'm saying is that John Wilkes Booth was secretly a member of Knights of the Golden Circle affiliated with Rome. [shrugs and smiles at Cam]

Ok...a little friendly advice. Do not mention Booth to Booth. They are related and he'll shoot you. [Hodgins turns and sees Booth and Brennan walking in]

Booth

What've we got here?

Hodgins

[awkwardly] Hi!

Booth

Hi.

I have an important job preserving our national heritage.

Booth

[deadpan] You kill cockroaches.

Obviously you don't understand museum hygiene. Mama roaches, they have like forty babies a pop. They eat the paint, the wallpaper and drop their roach feces all over the historical artifacts.

Sweets

No kidding.

I'm our nation's front line of defense.

Booth

Against roach poop.

It's very stressful, which is why I need my smokes.

Caroline

[frustrated at a journalist] I have a whole bunch of comments and they all have four letters!

Brennan

At this stage of my pregnancy, my IQ could be anywhere from eight to ten points lower than normal.

Daisy

Which is why we all need to pitch in every way we can. I'm becoming a certified doula. [squints as Hodgins' headlamp shines in her eyes]

Brennan

You aren't getting anywhere near my cervix, Miss Wick.

Daisy

Just saying. Should you find yourself in need, I could stop at the perineum.

I ran a tox screen on the ocular fluid and it came back negative, which eliminates poison as cause of death. Do you have anything?

Brennan

There's a fragment of the right ninth rib with striations that are consistent with a stab wound, but there's so little evidence it would be irresponsible of me to form a conclusion at this point.

Angela

Come on. Just this once.

Brennan

[wriggles under the pressure] No.

You can do it. Just say it's a stabbing.

Brennan

I can't.

Angela

We'll think you're cool if you do.

Brennan

Well I want to be cool, but I can't.

Angela

It's okay, honey. We still love you just the same.

Booth

[looking at welcome home sign] What is that? Welcome stapes?

Brennan

[laughs] It's the smallest bone in the human body.

Angela

We didn't know her name, so --

Brennan

Thanks. She's so lucky to have all of you.

Angela

So, what is her name?

Booth

Well, we named her after Bones' mom.

Brennan

Christine. Our daughter's name is Christine. Christine Angela.

Angela

Oh my God.

Brennan

(taking a hospital tour) I want a home birth where I can control things.

Booth

Lot safer in the hospital, Bones.

Brennan

No, on the contrary hospitals are breeding grounds for antibiotic-resistant super germs leading to a high incidence of E coli and staphylococcus infection.

I'm sorry, is that true?

Booth

No, no, no.

Brennan

(taking out UV light and shining it on the hallway) Based on the spatter pattern and viscosity, I see indications of blood, blood, cerebral spinal fluid, amniotic fluid, blood, more blood...

Is there a problem back there?

(taking magazine away from his wife) Don't touch anything.