Zack Addy quotes from Bones

Zack

These are the smallest remains I've ever worked on.

Brennan

That's a valid observation, Zack, but it's not helpful to the investigation.

Zack

Sorry, Dr. Brennan.

Brennan

I was at Waco. Branch Davidian compound. I helped identify children who had been killed in the fire, seventeen of them.

Zack

So you're saying I'll get used to it?

Brennan

No, I'm saying you will never get used to it. We're primates, social creatures. It's coded into our DNA to protect our young, even from each other.

Zack

So I'm always going to feel terrible?

Brennan

What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just... put your heart in a box.

Zack

I'm not good with metaphor, Dr. Brennan.

Brennan

Focus on the details.

Zack

Details, yeah. I can do that.

Zack

What do we talk about?

Goodman

Your work, of course.

Angela

Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.

Hodgins

Leave me out of it, I am not going.

Dr. Goodman

And how do you see your job?

Angela

I draw death masks.

Goodman

Is that really how you see it?

Angela

Don't you?

Goodman

You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro! You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body! You give victims back their faces! Their identities! You remind us all of why we're here in the first place! Because we treasure human life!

Goodman

Oh for God's sake.

Brennan

What happened?

Zack

Apparently, all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep, African-American tone.

Brennan

Do you ever go on vacation?

Zack

I take my vacation when you take your vacation.

Brennan

What do you do?

Zack

Go back home to Michigan, see the family. I have three brothers and four sisters.

Brennan

Do you enjoy that?

Zack

God, no. I made the mistake of telling them I work with corpses and skeletons. They think I'm a freak.

Brennan

Then why do you go?

Zack

They're my family... They love me.

Zack

(Ranting maniacally) I was out taking the pictures you needed and there was a sign and numbers on the ground and I thought, "Why assume a quasi-randomly generated function-oriented paradigm?"

Hodgins

Zack! When you talk that fast, human beings can't hear you.

Zack

1-2-4-0-2-5-1-0-2-2-1. That's the number they found on the victim.

Hodgins

You're the one with the photographic memory. I'm the one that's good with the ladies.

Hodgins

(Answering the phone) Hodgins.

Zack

Most recondite codes have a complex numerical cypher.

Hodgins

That's a fun factoid, Zack. Thank you.

Booth

Why does he need a driver?

Zack

I can't drive.

Booth

You're a genius who can't drive?

Zack

If you knew what I know about structural design, you wouldn't drive either.

Hodgins

You want in on the action?

Angela

No thank you. I'm going to go have sex.

Hodgins

Have a good time.

Zack

Yeah, okay...

Hodgins

I demand another beetle. Jeff's got a groin pull.

Zack

Arthropods do not possess groins. Pay up

Zack

[excitedly] The Anthropology Journal is publishing our piece on the evolution of the Coronals suture.

Brennan

Worthy interruption.

Zack

You're supposed to bump my fist with yours.

Brennan

Why?

Zack

I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success. [puts his fist down]

Angela

I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Hodgins

Using a refrigerator to hide a body... kinda perfect, isn't it?

Zack

A good way to remove the victim without being detected. The rubber gaskets seal in the odor.

Angela

Maybe the company should use that in their ads.

Hodgins

You were Brennan's professor?

She was 23, an adult.

Hodgins

[mocking] That's what Clinton said.

Zack

You run through a lot of students?

That was a long time ago and Tempe was very advanced...more colleague than student.

Zack

I'm a pretty advanced student.

No offense, but, um, I'm not interested.

Booth

Okay, could we just stop bringing up the whole Christ myth thing? Some people believe it's more than just a myth.

Brennan

Well, who besides you?

Goodman

That would be me, Dr. Brennan. I'm a deacon at my church.

Angela

I do. Christmas and Easter, anyway.

Hodgins

Although I believe organized religion is just another political movement designed to control the masses, it doesn't mean God doesn't love me.

Zack

Hey, I'm a rational empiricist all the way, unless you talk to my mother. Then I'm Lutheran.

Zack

I could build a random generator.

Goodman

Wouldn't it be best to match complementary people in a premeditated manner?

Hodgins

All right, I've got five numbers in my head, and five letters. You tell me the number, I tell you the matching letter.

Goodman

Are the letters sequential or the numbers sequential?

Hodgins

Sequential. We'll go in order from youngest to oldest.

Zack

Six.

Hodgins

There is no six!

Goodman

A through E and 1 through 5?

Zack

Six!

Hodgins

There is no six!

Booth

(holding out a jar with names in it) Okay, just...pick a name, if you get your own, put it back.

Goodman

Oh. That could work.

Hodgins

You wanna know the true meaning of Christmas? It's being inside a 300-year-old inn with a French Canadian masseuse when there's ten feet of snow outside.

Zack

Christmas is going home to Michigan and heading into the woods with your brothers to cut a twelve-foot Christmas tree and you all decorate it together. Brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, forty people who all love you and are happy to see you. That, my friend, is the true meaning of Christmas.

Brennan

X-rays, pictures: we're going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.

Zack

Kid gloves?

Brennan

Latex should be all right... Zack, were you being metaphoric?

Zack

I decided to give it a shot. Which is also metaphoric.