Seeley Booth quotes from Bones

Brennan

[checking the map on the cellphone] Okay, I bet Tic-Toc Team is here...two levels above us.

Booth

Don't call them Tic-Toc team, okay? They're Tac Team, it's short for tactical.

Brennan

But, wait, can I just have a gun at least until they get here?

Booth

[sighs and takes out the gun from his sock] Here. It's not for shooting rats, it's for psychos with climbing axes.

Booth

[talking through the radio]Tic-Toc Three!

Did you just called us..Tic-Toc??

Booth

(realized his mistake) Tac Team Three, standby!

Booth

Bones, give me your gun. Take the restraints out of my belt and put 'em on Kyle. [Bones puts her gun in Booth's pants pocket]

Booth

That's not cocked, is it? Because where that's pointed...

Brennan

You're safe.

Booth

Kyle hit the Duke with the candlestick in the crypt.

Goodman

That's very good! Very good. [laughs]

Booth

Right. [laughs]

Brennan

What? What's the joke?

Booth

Clue?

Brennan

What clue? [Booth and Goodman laugh] What clue?

Booth

Unbelievable, Bones.

Angela

What's funny?

Brennan

I have no idea.

Brennan

Maybe you could try the "hey we're brothers-in-arms" thing on him.

Booth

OK, that, what you just said right there, Bones, that was cynical. All right? That was glib and cynical.

Brennan

Really?

Booth

[seriously] Yes. Really. I know what that guy has been through.

Brennan

You killed a pregnant woman who's holding a child? [looks intently at Booth]

Booth

[pauses] Look, if you really want to know what I've done, I'll tell you. But you better be ready for the truth.

Booth

Good choice, Bones.

Harold said he was afraid of me?

Booth

Said he was afraid of a blonde.

How do you know it wasn't Charlize Theron?

Brennan

Who's that?

Booth

It's an actress. She's being sarcastic.

Booth

You know, you amaze me. You know Treasure of the Sierra Madre but you don't know Charlize Theron. [looks at Brennan, half-jokingly] You know who you are? You're my grandmother.

Brennan

It took all of my charm--

Booth

All of your charm? Oh boy--

Brennan

Just to get the sheriff to let me look at the skull. When I asked him to let me send the skull to the Jeffersonian, he told me I am not a cop and I don't have any jurisdiction.

Booth

Which is true. Okay, look, what do you want me to do?

Brennan

I want you to get federal on his ass.

Booth

[smiles] Oh!

Brennan

Wait outside while I get dressed.

Booth

No. Unh-uh. The sun's been up for an hour out there. It's already the surface of Mercury. I can stand here, close my eyes, eat my doughnuts. Best I can do, okay?

Brennan

No offence to you, but you're a stodgy traditionalist when it comes to relationships, buddy!

Booth

Stodgy?Stodgy.

Booth

He's definitely twitchy about something.

Brennan

What if he is escaping out the back door?

Booth

You don't spend a lot of time in trailers, do you?

Booth

Did either of you bring any water? [The girls show him their small water bottles.]

Angela

Why?

Brennan

Because we are way past where Jesus lost his sandals.

Brennan

Obviously, subconsciously sifted through the rational facts of the case and processed the most likely scenario.

Angela

I'm sure that's it.

Booth

Yeah, what else could it be?

Angela

Well it's the only rational explanation.

Brennan

Are you guys making fun of me?

Brennan

Why do the FBI always stick their morgues in the most depressing basement they can find?

Booth

Don't be such a snob, Bones, okay? Not everyone gets to play in a multi-million dollar lab, you know... with skylights.

Brennan

It's because as a society we feel the need to hide death away. The people who deal with death are viewed as freaks.

Brennan

F.B.I! You're all under arrest!

Booth

Come on, Bones, you don't get to say that. I'm the one with the badge.

Brennan

[to Dr. Goodman] Bones don't just disappear. I thought this was a secure facility. You assured me this was a secure facility. I could be working at Stanford, you know? This never would've happened at Stanford!

Goodman

We spend three-quarters of a million annually on security!

Brennan

Obviously that's not enough. [Booth comes in] I want my bones! Did you find my bones?

Booth

Ooh, maybe you just want to, you know, chill a little?

Brennan

Chill?

Booth

Yeah. You know, take a pill?

Brennan

Listen, dude, my lab was violated, my bones were stolen, so I think I'll remain warm for a little while longer.

Angela

Honey, maybe you should focus on your breathing.

Booth

Breathing.

Angela

Count to ten.

Booth

Count to ten.

Angela

Have a shot of Jack.

Booth

Shot of Jack.