Seeley Booth quotes from Bones

Brennan

Now you don't have to unfold and refold a map.

Booth

Wait a second, I like maps. What's wrong with maps?

Brennan

Well, maps cannot tell you the amount of traffic to expect en route to your destination. See? Now we can relax and talk about interesting things.

Booth

This is not how the cowboys settled this country.

Sweets

Are you nervous?

Booth

I've had people try to kill me, Sweets. I don't think cracking jokes makes me nervous.

Brennan

1,250,000.

Booth

What???

Brennan

That's how long it would take to check out every toilet in DC.

Booth

[turns to Brennan] Bones, once you start with the math you don't stop, right?

Brennan

[smiles] You think everyone's like that, don't you?

Booth

[humoring Brennan, smirks] Yeah I think so, definitely. Go math. Math people forever, right?

Booth

So what do you think? Man or a woman?

Brennan

I am uncomfortable defining sex with just a skull.

Booth

Come on. Take a stab. I won't write anything down, I promise. It's between me and you. (Brennan looks at Hodgins) Oh, well...

Hodgins

What? You don't want to take a stab in front of me?

Brennan

I feel inhibited by my desire not to embarrass myself in front of another scientist.

Booth

You should take that as a compliment.

Hodgins

What about him?

Brennan

Well we live together and thus share the same synergistic lack of inhibition which allows us to have sex without being self-conscious.

Booth

That's very romantic, Bones.

Brennan

[after Sweets suggested she and Booth go undercover as dancers] [excited] I love going undercover!

Booth

[not pleased] Why??

Brennan

Because it's fun and exciting!

Booth

[after Brennan gives him a passionate kiss] Wow, what was that for?

Brennan

[flirtatiously] Just felt like high school in here. Didn't you ever sneak away into the closet? [she and Booth kiss again]

Booth

The backseat of a car is more my thing.

Brennan

Do I have to do anything special when it ends?

Booth

No.

Brennan

Why not?

Booth

Because it's never gonna end, Bones. It's always gonna be just like this. Just like this.

Brennan

I don't want to pass my failings on to Christine, Booth.

Booth

What failings?

Brennan

Hyper-competitiveness, arrogance, insensitivity to the feelings of others.

Booth

You know what? Thumbs up to the self-realization there Bones. Actually, two thumbs up.

Brennan

You should make a similar effort.

Booth

What?

Brennan

Not to pass on your failings.

Booth

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean? What failings?

Brennan

[to Christine] It's time for bed.

What the hell is that?

Booth

Enigma machine. Hodgins sent it over.

Sweets

Why???

Booth

Why? Because it's Hodgins.

Booth

I need that warrant.

Caroline Julian

You wanna take on a private army with an FBI tac squad?

Booth

You want us to sprinkle your ashes over a volcano?

Brennan

Yes. That way at least if I'm dead you can have a nice trip together and foolishly risk your lives.

Booth

Which will bring us closer together!

Brennan

Yes.

Angela

Hey, you think maybe we can kiss like one more time?

Booth

You've had your fun.

Thank God you weren't 5 minutes later.

Booth

It's a miracle, right? Bones, she doesn't believe in God. You know? It's the only explanation, right?

Well, for some reason you got it into your head to see the woman you love.

Sweets

So the way we play this is I'm the understanding psychologist and you be the flinty FBI agent?

Booth

[dismisses him] Just be what we are.

Brennan

My IQ is quantifiably higher than yours.

Booth

You know what, you're the brains of the outfit.

Brennan

You have your strengths, Booth.

Booth

Well, I try

Brennan

Trying is one of your strengths.