[Booth and Brennan are standing over Seth Zalinsky, who is lying on the ground stuck to the corpse]
[standing over Seth] Hey there, Michelangelo, can you hear me?
[to Booth] You shouldn't call him that, Booth. If he had a head injury he might think that's who he is.
SSeth
Something's poking in my back and something smells terrible!
PParamedic
Do you know your name?
[to Booth] Told you. You confused him.
SSeth
I'm not confused! I'm just not tellin' you my name.
PParamedic
Vitals are stable. No sign of concussion....
Who are we? [shows his badge] FBI, that's who we are.
SSeth
Since when did FBI cover billboard vandalism??
[At the Jeffersonian platform. Brennan, Cam and Fisher are observing Seth on the autopsy table being scanned.]
Ummmm...no. [looks at Brennan] What are we calling the one that's still alive?
Well, Booth calls him Michelangelo.
[...]
[looking at computer screen] Large rugged pelvis suggests the victim was a Caucasian male.
SSeth
I have a large rugged pelvis? [grins] Booyah!!! [Cam smiles]
Not you. The murder victim.
[...]
SSeth
Everyone here is this combo of smart and dumb.
Now you don't have to unfold and refold a map.
Wait a second, I like maps. What's wrong with maps?
Well, maps cannot tell you the amount of traffic to expect en route to your destination. See? Now we can relax and talk about interesting things.
This is not how the cowboys settled this country.
[pulls the corpse off Seth] It is with great pleasure that I divorce these skulls.
I don't know if you're aware, but I do a bit of stand-up myself.
I imagine you are not very skilled at it, as you are not a humorous person.
My routine is dark, disturbing and uncomfortable. Just the way a comedy show should be.
I don't do jokes, Dr. Saroyan. I do raw, unfiltered honesty.
[Backstage before open mike night at the comedy club]
I've had people try to kill me, Sweets. I don't think cracking jokes makes me nervous.
That's how long it would take to check out every toilet in DC.
[turns to Brennan] Bones, once you start with the math you don't stop, right?
[smiles] You think everyone's like that, don't you?
[humoring Brennan, smirks] Yeah I think so, definitely. Go math. Math people forever, right?
[Booth is undercover as a stand-up comic while Sweets and Fisher are watching in the audience]
Oh my god, Booth is funny.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
