[Booth is confronting an armed Nobert Mobley.]
BoothNorbert! Easy. Point the gun up. Up.
[Booth takes the shotgun but Mobley refuses to let go of it and they struggle over the gun.]
Booth
What are you? Crazy?! Give me the gun!
Booth
I'm FBI!
MMobley
It's my land! You got no rights!
[A shot is fired out of the gun. Booth wrings it out of Mobley's hands.]
Booth
[looks at Mobley] You are crazy.
[Mobley swings a punch at Booth but misses. Booth knocks him to the ground with the butt of the shotgun. Brennan comes up behind Booth with her gun.]
MMobley
[sees Brennan] How about you let her cuff me? [smiles at Brennan] She's pretty.
[Sweets and Booth are video-conferencing. Sweets is in his office while Booth is pacing around the set and looking at all the props.]
You know, the criminal records are not surprising. The entertainment industry has its own set of norms. Not only is bad behavior rarely punished, it's often rewarded. [pauses] Wow. Why does your office look like the command center in some super villain submarine?
Booth
I guess my bubble-head bobby wasn't flashy enough.
I still think it's an excellent idea to question people there. The actors might suddenly see their fictional world as real. It might work to your advantage.
[...]
[While Booth is talking with Sweets, Blaine Conway, who portrays Andy Lister, a fictional portrayal of Booth in Brennan's book, comes from behind and tackles him. Booth instinctively and quickly subdues him.]
BBlaine
[groans] Woah. Wow. I do my own stunts but you are awesome!
Booth
[annoyed] What the hell are you doing?! I could've killed you! [pulls Blaine up by his tie] Get up!
[in disbelief after witnessing what just happened] Unbelievable! No sense of mortality at all! Completely delusional!
BBlaine
[points to screen at Sweets] Who's the big head?
Booth
It's the FBI shrink.
BBlaine
[to Sweets] I was just trying to show him how I'm gonna play Lister. I mean this guy's like Steve McQueen man. [points to Booth] I gotta do him justice!
[...]
[Blaine leaves after being questioned by Booth and exits the set doing an exaggerated impression of an FBI agent.]
Booth
[to Sweets] You see what I gotta deal with? His belt buckle says "cooky".
I can see the McQueen thing.
Booth
Yeah?
LLiam
Look, I would be an idiot to kill Hanson. Ok? The guy paid me buckets to write CRAP.
Booth
[offended] Hey!
Crap? You're writing my film!
LLiam
Sorry to burst your bubble but the only reason he green-lighted your film was to get into Cherie Redfern's pants. So...
[Booth looks at Brennan in dismay and surprise]
Booth
[to Liam, nods in agreement] Yeah, it is dumb.
Booth
It is kinda dumb.
Booth
Hey Jocco, pal. Let's talk.
JKJocco Kent
[ignores Booth] Shooting.
[...]
Booth
I said I want to talk to you now. That means stop.
KKent
What are you gonna do? Arrest a man who's grossed a billion dollars in the last five years?
Booth
Great idea. Stand up. Put your hands behind your back. Let's go.
[Kent throws a plastic bottle at Booth and does a "kung fu" stance. Booth stares at him in bewilderment.]
Booth
Really??
[Blaine charges Kent down and rugby tackles him from out nowhere, to the shock of the crew and Booth]
Booth
What are you doing?
BBlaine
I'm in character. I figure that's what you'd do.
Booth
[in disbelief] What???
Booth
You've got to be kidding me! Eight hundred bucks for a stroller?
I have done extensive research, Booth. This is the best stroller on the market. Plus, the design is beautiful and it's cerise.
Booth
It has a name?
It's a color. Cerise is a color.
Booth
Look, I only paid five hundred bucks for my first car.
Booth
No! We've been through this. All our expenses are split, right down the line.
You're too sensitive. It's just money.
Booth
Rich people always say that. That's what they say. Mm-hmm.
Didn't you say you would be getting a raise soon?
Booth
And until then Christine will be fine in a cheaper stroller that's in a color people have heard of like -- [looks over to see Brennan looking at him] -- don't do that. Not that look, please. Don't give me the sad eyes.
Booth
No, come on. No! I'm not looking! I'm driving!
Booth
[to himself] Just keep driving. [looks over] You were never able to do this look before the baby. What did the baby do to you?
PBPamela Bartlett
Someone was bound to kill Richard.
Why? Was your husband an attorney for organized crime or terrorists?
PPamela
Much worse. Richard was a white shoe divorce lawyer.
I believe the shoes were ox blood. [Booth looks irritated]
Booth
[to Brennan] What she means is that her husband is a lawyer for rich people. No shoes.
[Booth and Brennan enter a law firm undergoing renovation]
FForeman
[to Booth and Brennan] Uh, this is a hard hat area so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Booth
[flashes his badge] FBI. I need a hard hat.
And directions to Margot Sandoval's office and I need a hard hat too.
FForeman
[with dread] This is gonna slow me down.
Booth
That's a shame.
FForeman
Yeah. A little mercy, all right? I'm doing renovations for a bunch of lawyers who threaten to sue me everyday. [removes hard hat] I'm going bald with the stress.
Booth
Well, you know why I have good hair? Because I don't let lawyers stress me out.
FForeman
Ok, ok fine. Who do you need to see again?
Booth
Richard Bartlett.
FForeman
You're gonna lose a few hairs after you meet Bartlett. Trust me.
Booth
Ah, I just don't like being in a divorce lawyer's office, that's all.
Booth
Well, 'cause it reminds me that things, you know, fall apart.
[awkwardly joking] Then it's a good thing we're not married, right? [Booth glares at her]
Booth
"[upset]" You are not a very reassuring person, Bones.
You're gonna have to justify your department's expenses at the quarterly budget review.
Booth
Me? No not me. I work in the field.
That's why you are doing it. Big burly agent like you will intimidate those pencilnecks. I'd wave your gun around a little too if I were you.
Booth
There's gotta be someone else here.
No, sorry cherie, but there is no one burlier and cuter than you.
Booth
Stop.
[...]
You just go through all the supplies we used last quarter, cost, manpower, techs and such, then estimate the cost for the coming quarter.
Booth
Supplies?
Kevlar vests, ammo, toner for the printers.
Booth
Toner?
The government doesn't function without toner, cherie.
Booth
If I get this promotion I wouldn't be in the field as much. But hey, that could be a good thing.
But you'd be behind a desk. You'd hate that.
Booth
But I would get a raise and I will love that.
A desk job? It's like caging an animal. You're meant to run free, Booth.
Bones · 1,470 quotes
