Seeley Booth quotes from Bones

Sweets

Hey, uh, Booth, can I ask you a personal question?

Booth

Oh, that depends. About you or me?

Sweets

Me.

Booth

Shoot.

Sweets

Okay. Daisy just wants to pick up where we left off. And I don't know whether to--

Booth

Move on?

Sweets

Yeah, like you did.

Booth

You know what? You asked my opinion, right? I'm gonna give it to you. You listening? Give yourself a chance to be happy, move on.

Sweets

And that worked for you?

Ah… Look at that, huh?

Parker

Dad?

Yeah.

Parker

Did you kill anybody?

Why are you asking me that?

Parker

My friends always want to know. What should I tell them?

You tell your friends that your dad does his duty the best that he knows how. Alright? Someday, me and you are gonna talk all about it, alright?

Parker

When?

Y'know, when you're older; when you're a man.

Parker

Are you going away again?

No. Never.

Parker

Because of me?

Because of you. It's the best reason ever. Huh? Drink your orange juice, here we go; let's eat up. Mm?

It's just that I always felt there was something more I could've done for my brother. Maybe he'd still be here. Guess I'm still just trying to do that something extra, is all.

Booth

We always feel that way when we lose someone.

Booth

Now let's get on your little shrinky mojo so you can pick up any leftover crazies that the other doctor might've missed.

Sweets

[mocking, looks at Booth] My shrinky mojo. That's how it works. [stares at Booth in annoyance]

Booth

Stop staring at me like that.

Hannah

This is fascinating.

Hodgins

Who's that?

Hannah.

Hodgins

[runs to his speaker] Hey, uh, hi! It's nice to meet you. I'm, uh, Hodgins, Dr. Hodgins. I am a big fan. I just read the piece where you stuck it to CENTCOM in 2009.

Hannah

[smiles] Thanks.

Hodgins

Hey, maybe while you're here, you can find out why every time there's a big story [Booth looks embarrassed] and I mean like an earthquake or government corruption, there's always some celebrity story that takes focus.

Booth

[getting annoyed] Hodgins!

Hodgins

[continues on] The BP oil spill, Lindsay Lohan goes to jail and the country takes their eye off the ball.

Booth

Hod-gins!

Hannah

Media is used to distract us all the time.

Booth

[discreetly to Hannah] You're taking him seriously???

Hannah

Michael Jackson's funeral is on 24-hours a day and nobody finds out about the coup in Honduras. Smells fishy to me.

Hodgins

I love this woman.

Brennan

The tox screen showed copious amounts of alcohol, over the counter stimulants, and men's beauty products.

Booth

I'm sorry, men's what now?

Brennan

Hairspray, hair gel, tanning spray and some sort of aerosolized perfume.

Booth

Cologne. Men wear cologne.

Brennan

You don't.

Booth

Well that's because it smells like perfume.

Brennan

It was an accident. The rib fracture broke off in the fight at the pool hall. [to the bounty hunter] You had no idea that your beanbag gun would kill him.

Booth

Bones, what are you, a defense lawyer now?

Brennan

[quoting Dr. Jude] "A kind mind is a fine mind."

Booth

She cut off his head! That wasn't an accident.

Brennan

I have no rebuttal for that statement.

Caroline Julian

[after Booth releases a bounty hunter going after their suspect] What'd you do that for?!

Booth

[matter-of-factly] Double the pressure on Braverman. I don't care who gets him first.

Caroline

I hate it when you're all adult and sensible. Give me a little bile and revenge. Just what I appreciate in a man.

Hannah

Don't worry, Seeley, I'm fine.

Booth

You got shot, Hannah, you're not fine.

Hannah

I've been shot before. So have you, right?

Booth

It's not like you build up an immunity to gunshot wounds.

Sweets

Anacostia? That's a really tough part of town.

Booth

Not compared to downtown Kabul, it's not.

Brennan

Or the surface of Venus which is covered by clouds of sulfuric acid and hundreds of active mega volcanoes.

Brennan

[incredulously] What? We were talking about tough neighborhoods.

Brennan

[knocks on Booth's apartment door] Booth? [knocks again] Are you there?

Booth

No, I'm in South Beach working on my tan. [opens door]

Brennan

You need Sweets to sign your post Afghanistan ready for duty report. Did you forget?

Booth

Me?

Brennan

Well, generally you wear more clothing, and you've been avoiding it for weeks.

Booth

Well, I couldn't sleep. Hannah got up at the crack of dawn. [cracks back]

Brennan

Do you always have this pronounced release of gas in the morning?

Booth

Is it that bad?

Brennan

Synovial gas. That's what the cracking is.

Booth

Synovial gas? What's that mean?

Brennan

Well, there comes a point where a body can't hide all the abuse it's taken.

Booth

What do you mean 'certain point'?

Brennan

Booth, you've been shot, beaten, and jumped out of airplanes. The skeletal damage alone --

Booth

Oh, God. I'm falling apart.

Brennan

You're fine. It's your skeleton that's falling apart.

Booth

Scuse' Me, we're looking for Hunter Lang.

Err..he's one of our bartenders. Nadi, they're looking for Lang.

Oh! [looks at Booth] Jealous husband?

Booth

[shows his badge] FBI

Oh! Well, ca-can this wait? We'll be back by 10.

Booth

How about we come with you?

[looks at Sweets] Only if he comes to. [points at Sweets, Booth and Brennan looks at Sweets]

Booth

That was the plan.

Done!

Sweets

I'm sorry, what just happened there?

Brennan

If this was the Malukus, I would say it was some sort of virgin offering.

Sweets

Virgin?

Brennan

Quasi virgin offering.

Hannah

I don't want to mess anything up between you and your son.

Booth

Look, I love you, all right? He's gonna love you, too. And don't think of him as a kid. Just think of him as a short guy who … who's not allowed to drink.

Booth

The point is, like, they have to meet sometime, right?

Sweets

Well, yeah, if your relationship with Hannah is serious, then …

Booth

It is serious.

Sweets

I wasn't questioning that …

Booth

It sounded like you were.

Sweets

No, I wasn't.

Booth

Well, it's serious.

Sweets

Then they have to meet.

Booth

Bones, what are you doing here?

Brennan

What are you doing?

Booth

I don't know; following you to a bad part of town and saving your life. You know, the usual. Your turn.