Seeley Booth quotes from Bones

Brennan

Strontium is an element found in most rocks.

Hodgins

Human beings absorb it through the consumption of local vegetation and water. Over time the isotope collects in the bones, meaning--

Booth

You could use it to figure out where someone's from. [Brennan and Hodgins look shocked.] That's right, people. I am a constant surprise.

Sweets

Dr. Brennan, everyone you work with, including your therapist--

Booth

Former therapist.

Sweets

--is endeavoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.

Brennan

Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.

Sweets

No, Booth is wrong. Yes, it does.

Booth

Okay. You're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.

Brennan

I don't know what that means.

Booth

The scientist part of you got sidelined temporarily.

Brennan

I still don't know what that means.

Booth

Bones, just, take the brain, okay, put it in neutral. All right? Take the heart, pop it into overdrive. [makes engine noises and mimes driving a race car]

Brennan

[smiles] Sometimes I think you're from another planet. [laughs] And sometimes I think you're really very nice.

Brennan

Until I was thirteen, I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.

Booth

I'd say you're kidding, but I don't think you know how to kid.

Brennan

The other girls and I referred to her as "rad." [laughs] My mother said I sang just as well.

Booth

As well as Cyndi Lauper?

Brennan

Yes.

Sweets

Mothers do that. It's healthy.

Brennan

No, it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did.

Sweets

It was an expression of affection, Dr. Brennan, not an objective evaluation of your abilities.

Brennan

Well, I think you're wrong.

Booth

Okay then, go ahead, belt it out.

Brennan

No!

Sweets

Yeah, come on. Give us a few bars.

Booth

Come on...

Brennan

I can't just burst into song. I have to have music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.

Booth

Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper...

Brennan

Hey! Break down the door!

Booth

It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!

Brennan

How does a former sniper have a grass allergy? I mean, wouldn't a sneeze give away your position?

Booth

Bones, OK, I worked in the desert. Sand, no grass.

Brennan

I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral. It was a complete waste of time, just like I said.

Booth

Wait a second. You thought that my funeral was a waste of time?

I thought it was a lovely service, Booth.

Booth

Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...

Hodgins

I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.

Booth

Yeah. Me, too.

Angela

You guys are pathetic.

Brennan

[to Booth] Just know I won't be attending your next funeral.

Brennan

I need to talk to you!

Booth

Okay, what the hell, Bones? I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here, anyway?

Brennan

Well, that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?

Booth

Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you--

Brennan

And that cigar? Very unhealthy.

Booth

Okay. What the hell do you want now, Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.

Brennan

You should have told me that you weren't dead.

Booth

I already explained this to you. The Bureau has to vet everyone when there's a security issue. I was just following protocol!

Brennan

Protocol?

Booth

Yes!

Brennan

We've been partners for three years, Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me!

Booth

(stands) I took a bullet for you!

Brennan

Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?

Brennan

(Booth is walking around the lab table, staring) Booth?

Booth

Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.

Brennan

Thinking about what, exactly?

Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.

Angela

A "cake and eat it too" situation.

Zack

Is it a cake or a pickle?

Hodgins

It's Schrödinger's Cat.

Zack

That I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.

Booth

Bones broke into my house last night.

Brennan

There was a key!

Booth

All angry because nobody told her that I was dead. And I was just following protocol!

Sweets

Broke into your house?

Brennan

There was a key.

Booth

And barged into my bathroom.

Sweets

What were you doing?

Brennan

He was drinking beer and reading a comic book.

Booth

I was taking a bath!

Sweets

You read comics and drink beer naked?

Booth

Wait a minute. Bones bursts into my bathroom, all right, and I'm weird for being naked?

Brennan

In fact, taking a right turn on a red light here is the equivalent of turning left in the wrong lane at home.

Booth

I'm turning right. [takes a right turn and almost hits a bus, stops the Mini in the middle of an intersection and gets out of the car, screaming] I hate England! I hate London! I'm glad we had a revolution!

Inspector Pritchard, meet Dr. Brennan.

Charming

She's exactly like me.

Charming, tenacious, salacious, sophomoric, euphoric, noble, ignoble, fatuous, horrid, morbid, torpid and tedious.

Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere, Cate. So you found Portia Frampton?

Well, the way we usually work, Ian, is I drag the bodies out of the Thames and you use your extraordinary capabilities to identify them.

Booth

Bones! They're like the English version of me and you.

Booth

Every man in this country would like to sleep with you.

Brennan

Are you being nice to me or awful to the British men?

Booth

Okay, news bulletin for ya, Bones. There's not a guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men... whoa, easy.

Brennan

Are you being nice about me or awful about British men?

Sweets

Does it seem that your partnership provides a surrogate relationship, making it more difficult to form other bonds?

Brennan

A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing because then I could avoid the sting of rejection, which, however fleeting, is still uncomfortable.

Booth

Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry. You know what? If Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.

Brennan

No, relationships are temporary.

Booth

No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong, okay? There is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, all right? You just have to be open enough to see it, that's all.