Temperance Brennan quotes from Bones

Brennan

I have to speak. I hate these things.

Booth

What are you talking about, Bones? You're great at these things. Listen, you changed history. How many people can say that?

Brennan

You can. Every arrest you make changes history. You make the world safer.

Booth

With your help. So, Andrew. You were going to take him to this thing. At least that's what you told me.

Brennan

I was, yes, but you and I -- this was our case. I guess what goes on between us, that should just be ours. Isn't that what you said?

Booth

Yeah.

Are you here to protect them while they mistreat and torture the chickens on this farm and the people who live downwind of its foul emanations?

Booth

You practice that speech much, pal?

Brennan

We found Nick Rabin's body.

Booth

As of now, you are our number one suspect.

Please, I didn't kill anyone. I'm an extreme pacifist.

Brennan

That's an oxymoron. You're either extreme or pacifist. You can't be both.

Booth

I'm losing it. I'm not up to speed here. I woke up this morning and I realized that I didn't even know if I liked brown sugar on my oatmeal.

Brennan

Next time, call me. You like brown sugar on everything!

Booth

I'm the one who is supposed to know if people are lying. Who do I call for that?

Brennan

Sweets.

Booth

Sweets?

Brennan

You said he's like a human lie detector test!

Booth

I don't like things at half speed, you know? I'm a full speed kind of a guy.

Brennan

Well, even at half speed, you're twice as fast as anyone else.

Brennan

You noticed something! See! You've still got it!

Booth

You're not going to ask me what I saw?

Brennan

Do I want to know?

Booth

No. Do you want to know anyway?

Brennan

Nope. It can wait. I trust you.

Booth

I thought Hodgins would have something on this whole "suspended animation" thing. [hands Angela a folder]

Angela

[amused] Hey, you listen to Hodgins?

Booth

I listen to Wendell.

Brennan

[looks at the file Angela is reading] Woah...what is DARPA?

Angela

Uh, it's a Department of Defense agency. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Hodgins says they're into some pretty weird stuff, like creating super-soldiers who don't need sleep and can kill with their laser beam eyes.

Booth

[chuckles, looks at Angela facetiously] What's that supposed to be?

Angela

Half man, half chicken.

Booth

Come on!

Brennan

I believe this to be fairly accurate.

Booth

Ok, so you want me to go ask the Defense Department if their experimental super-soldier is half man half chicken?

Sweets

[shows Booth the menu] Hey, today's special: chicken. Ironic.

Booth

Right... [discreetly aside to Brennan, shields his face with menu] Everything ok there Bones? I know when something's wrong with you. And something's wrong. What can I do to help?

Brennan

Angela and I had a fight.

Booth

[puts menu down] Nothing I can do to help!

Brennan

You want to hear about it?

Booth

No!

Sweets

Why not?

Booth

Why? Because her and Angela are best friends and Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then, you know, the two of them are gonna make up and then they're gonna be mad at me. So, no thank you!

Sweets

It's very interesting.

Booth

[to Sweets] You know, the way you say "very interesting" is very irritating. Listen, Bones, I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you, I'd kill for you, but I am not getting in the middle of two best friends.

Booth

[grabs her hand] Woah, woah, listen, Bones. Everything is gonna be ok between you and Angela. All right? You two are like sisters.

Brennan

[sadly] I'm just not used to not getting along with people.

Sweets

Seriously? 'Cause it seems like–– [groans as Booth cuts him off by kicking him extremely hard under the table]

Brennan

Thanks, Booth.

Brennan

Angela'll come around.

Sweets

You're certain that she will.

Brennan

Eventually, Angela will see the rational nature of my argument.

Sweets

She will come around.

Brennan

I already said that.

Sweets

[smiles] Hey, crazy thought. What if this time you were the one who came around?

Brennan

Saving one pig isn't a rational act. Are you suggesting that I point that out to Angela more clearly? Because that would make this conversation very much like a professional consultation.

Sweets

No, I'm suggesting, in a very friendly conversational way, that you help her save that one pig.

Brennan

But we agreed that that's a meaningless act.

Sweets

Meaningless by your definition, not by Angela's.

Brennan

My definition is correct.

Sweets

Yes, and if life were simply a debate, you would win hands down. But we know it isn't a debate. It's something much tougher. You know, our very work shows us that... that those people that call the world an abattoir, a slaughterhouse, they have a point. Now, you handle that knowledge by imposing this gossamer web of rationality over the ugliness. Angela has a very different way of handling it. Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan. Sometimes you just make your friend happy.

Brennan

Even when it's irrational? [Sweets nods]

Brennan

The only markings we know for sure came before the sinkhole are these three little nicks on his ribs.

Vincent

Could he have been stabbed?

Brennan

With what?

Vincent

The world's dullest knife.

Brennan

Perhaps something along the lines of a dull hatchet.

Vincent

To a little person a hatchet would be the equivalent of an ax. Assuming the accomplice was already lying in wait, surely he would have had the forethought to bring a more suitable weapon.

Brennan

Like a gun.

Vincent

Or a giant sword. Or a gun.

Brennan

Maybe I should start packing heat again.

Booth

Packing heat?

Brennan

Yes, it's a colloquialism. I'm quite a good shot.

Booth

Hey, if the leprechaun was shot, where would the bullet be?

Brennan

I assume somewhere in the six tons of crap Hodgins hasn't sifted through yet.

Booth

Wait, wait a second. Did you just call forensic evidence crap?

Brennan

It's colloquial again. What do you think?

Booth

I like it. It shows that you're adapting.

Wyatt

Sometimes you have to help people against their wishes.

Brennan

I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help him.

Angela

Booth must be cute with his grandpa, huh?

Brennan

His grandfather calls him shrimp. Booth seems to like it, which I don't understand.

Angela

Well, it's because it makes him feel loved, like when he actually was a shrimp.

Brennan

So the moniker is a sign of affection?

Angela

Very good, Brennan. You never had a nickname?

Brennan

Oh, no, just what Booth calls me; just Bones.

Brennan

But on her last visit with him, she weighed 234 pounds.

Clark

Baby had back. [disapproving looks from Brennan and Cam] Sorry... I don't know where that came from.

Hank Booth

Did I take these blue pills?

You took the yellow pills.

Hank

I feel like a damn chemistry experiment! They didn't have this stuff fifty years ago and everybody was fine!

Brennan

Actually, medicine has increased life expectancy quite a bit since 1959. Fifty years ago, you'd probably be dead.

Bones!

Hank

No, I like her. She's real. She's got balls.

Brennan

Well, ovaries, actually.

Hank

All right, you've got steel ovaries.

Brennan

Thank you.

Will you two, please!

Brennan

Being overweight wasn't always stigmatized. During the Middle Ages in Italy, the wealthy and influential members of society were called popolo grosso, meaning literally, fat people.

Hank

Is she always like this?

Well, Pops, she always has the facts, Pops. Always.

Hank

You should go on a gameshow. You'd clean up.

I tell her that all the time, but you know, she's already loaded.

Hank

She's got talent, charm, beauty, money and you're just friends? I didn't raise you very well.

Hank

Everyone needs someone. Don't be scared.

Brennan

Scared, what? I'm not scared of anything.

Hank

It all goes by so fast. You don't want any regrets.

Brennan

I don't understand.

Hank

Yes, you do.