Temperance Brennan quotes from Bones

Booth

Can you get lost?

Brennan

Why?

Booth

I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.

Booth

Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.

Brennan

Yeah. No problem.

Booth

Right? Maybe, uh, you know, leave my body out for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.

Brennan

No, I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you would start to smell.

Booth

Nobody looks inside the casket, okay Mr. Tung?

How do I do that?

Booth

Just, um- w- Bones, how does he do that?

Brennan

Say someone enters and desires to gaze upon the visage of their dead relative one more time, in a vain effort to say goodbye to someone who can neither see nor hear them because there's no such thing as a soul--

Booth

Bones, just- ju- Bones, Bones. Just give him a reason not to show the body.

Brennan

We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment, and the body is not available for viewing just now.

I would never phrase it that way.

Booth

I know, it's perfect! It's so gross.

Brennan

I myself have no one in my life whom I talk to that much. Outside of work, I mean. Perhaps that is good.

How so?

Brennan

I can see how much pain you're in. Is it worth it? To have your own happiness so contingent on another human being?

If I was willing to give up my life for Sachi, why would I not be willing to risk my happiness for her?

Brennan

Will he recover? Your friend Ken.

Booth

From losing his sister? You don't recover from something like that. You just survive.

Brennan

People die. There's a fault in the design if we can't recover from it.

Booth

Fault in the design. What are we, coffee pots?

Brennan

I just mean that we should be designed so that we can handle the worst.

Booth

We are designed that way. We aren't sent anything that we can't handle.

Brennan

I'm not convinced that loving someone is worth it.

Booth

I have a son and it's worth it.

Brennan

Even if he died?

Booth

Whoa, Bones, don't even say anything like that. Don't even put that out there. It is worth it and everything around it is worth it. Every moment. Everything is worth it. Now eat your ice cream before it melts.

Most of the FBI agents showed up and started telling us how to handle our organized crime problem. Booth said nothing, two, three days just listening.

Brennan

[smiles] He was quiet? That...[chuckles] That does not sound like Booth.

Then he asked a question. He asked, how would you gentlemen handle our organized crime problem. He was respectful.

Yeah, so? I run a legitimate business.

Booth

You're a pimp. I don't like pimps!

Brennan

He really doesn't.

Booth

No.

Brennan

They keep track of sexual conquests by putting stars on the wall?

Sweets

It's emotionally stunted.

Booth

Guys, it's a college fraternity.

Brennan

They seem like really terrible people.

Booth

They're college kids, okay? It's their job description to be bad. It's what they do.

Sweets

Yeah, but still. It's a community of young men mutually supporting bad decisions.

Booth

Look, these kids, they go out into the world. They're alone, they have no supervision, they have to be bad. It's just in order to figure out what it is. It's a scientific fact that their frontal lobes are the size of raisins.

Brennan

No, that is not a scientific fact.

Booth

What they've got to do is build their frontal lobes with exercise, and that comes from doing the wrong thing.

Sweets

Okay, so you're theory is that they've got to be bad to be good.

Booth

Exactly. It's the facts of life, my friend. Okay, so whats transmissions did you get from the brothers?

Brennan

Booth, he is not a radio.

Booth

Well, he kind of is. That's why I brought him along, Bones.

Sweets

What I did observe, using my eyes and my training, is that these two frat brothers weren't actually upset about Beaver's death.

Brennan

How do you know?

Sweets

Well, real grief comes and goes in waves. These guys had their face set in sadness the whole time. They were lying.

Brennan

I believe you're just guessing.

Sweets

Okay, fine. I'm just a magic eight ball. [walks away]

Booth

I think you hurt his feelings.

Brennan

[incredulous] Did you believe him?

Brennan

What are you going to do?

Booth

Something personal.

Brennan

What is it?

Booth

Personal. Personal means personal. You know, not for the public.

Brennan

I'm not the public!

Booth

Jared wants me to go to India with him.

Brennan

Indiana?

Booth

India, okay? Taj Mahal, cows, tigers, cobras, Slumdog Millionaire.

Brennan

I know. Are you going?

Booth

We don't like each other.

Brennan

So, not going?

Booth

Well, he's my brother. I still love him.

Brennan

I'm confused. You are going?

Booth

Jared should not go to India alone. He'll get in all kinds of trouble.

Brennan

You said he's never been alone.

Booth

Exactly! He'll be eaten alive.

Brennan

If you go with him, then he won't be alone. You won't let him be bad and his frontal lobe always be the size of a raisin. That's what you said. It makes no scientific sense.

Booth

Yeah. Got it.

Brennan

So, um, do you... do you really think you have to be bad to be good?

Booth

Yeah, I do.

Brennan

Well, I've never done anything "bad".

Booth

[nods] I believe you.

Brennan

I mean, I've made mistakes, of course, but I've never purposely done anything bad.

Booth

And I believe you.

Brennan

I don't want my frontal lobe to be a dried-up raisin.

Booth

[smiles in bemusement, grins and turns to Brennan] You know what, we're gonna do something bad now.

Brennan

[mischievously] What?

Booth

[grins] Have you ever dined and dashed? You know the concept, right? We're gonna run outta here without paying the bill.

Brennan

No, that's stealing.

Booth

That's why they call it bad. Are you ready...

Brennan

No I can't...really? No....are you serious??? [grins excitedly as Booth prepares to run] Oh my god!

Sweets

It's quite simple. Whatever Agent Booth says, you respond with whatever word or phrase pops into your head, and vice versa.

Sweets

The point of the exercise is not to explain, but to respond. Okay? Children can do this.

Brennan

Because it's childish.

Sweets

Can we just try it, please?

Booth

Hunger.

Brennan

Sex.

Booth

Whoa.

Brennan

Horse.

Booth

Cowboy.

Brennan

Child.

Booth

Baby.

Brennan

Booth.

Booth

What, do you think I'm a baby?

Brennan

You're a father.

Booth

Oh. Mother.

Brennan

Birth.

Booth

Happy.

Brennan

Sperm.

Booth

Sperm, isn't this kind of weird?

Sweets

No, keep going.

Booth

Ok. Egg.

Brennan

I want a baby.

Booth

Whoa!

Brennan

Horse.

Angela

Brennan, this is crazy.

Brennan

Why? I'm intellectually gifted, financially secure. Statistically, I could expect to have an exceptional child.

Angela

Fine. Yes. Absolutely. But do know how this is supposed to work, right?... You get naked together. You devour each other in a passionate frenzy.

Brennan

Booth would think that would create an emotional bond between us.

Angela

[sarcastic] Of course that's ridiculous.

Brennan

I knew you'd understand.

Angela

Then why use Booth at all? Why don't you use Fisher ... and his discount sperm?

Brennan

No, Booth has a bigger mandible and a more prominent zygomatic than Fisher, as well as a more pronounced ratio between the width of his clavicles and his ilia.

Angela

So, it's because Booth is hot? Now we're getting somewhere.

Brennan

Cam says everybody thinks I'm a cold fish.

Booth

What you are is Iceland: cool to the touch, but underneath you're all volcano!

Brennan

I don't like people thinking that I'm a cold fish.

Booth

Look, if you were really a cold fish, you wouldn't care.

Brennan

You used logic on me! That's sweet! [They smile.] Cam says the reason I didn't hear the gunshot is because I'm cheating on you.

Booth

Jared thinks, you know, I'm the killer, and he's helping me get away with it.

Brennan

So you're a murderer; I'm unfaithful. We are a very exciting couple!

Brennan

So did the police try to convince you I was having an affair with Arastoo?

Booth

It's what they do, you know? They drive wedges.

Brennan

It wouldn't be irrational to think I was having an affair with him. He is very handsome.

Booth

Yeah, I'd feel it if the energy was bad between the two of us. I'd know. The same way that you would know that I couldn't murder someone.

Brennan

I believe you would murder someone for me, and I believe you'd lie about it so I wouldn't have to carry the burden.