Carlos quotes from Big Time Rush

Okay, done.

Carlos

Wait, what? That's it?

[reading his blog] "Big Time Rush is just another band force-fed upon us by the music industry. From the blogger that only writes the truth, it's clear they're full of rehearsed sound bites, choreographed body language and no real substance." (James yelps) "I suspect their words, hair, wardrobe and singing is done for them. Don't buy their album." Bye.

Carlos

Life's funny, you know? One day, you're hockey players...then you're a pop band.

Logan

Then...blognappers.

James

Why does he think we're phonies, hm? HE SHOULD LIKE US!

Kendall

Why WOULD he like us?! 'Cause I gotta be honest: I don't like us right now! Worse than that, since when did we start caring about what people think about us? It's what we think about ourselves that matters.

James

We haven't failed this bad since we lost to Duluth East in hockey eight-one.

Carlos

Right, that was the game Kendall and I got ejected from for unsportsmanlike mooning.

Kendall

Wait a minute, that's it!

James

We should moon Gustavo and the ghost?

Kendall

No, we beat Duluth East in the finals later because we were all back on the ice--together.

As a team.

Carlos

Right! We're gonna team moon them!

Kendall

Close we're gonna team up

We have to get rid of that ghost.

Carlos

Don't worry, we'll catch it (pulls out green fishing net) tonight.

Logan

With a fishing net?

Carlos

An ecto net.

Logan

Fishing net.

Carlos

Ecto net!

Logan

It's a fishing net.

Carlos

Ec-to net!

Logan

Fishing net.

Carlos

ECTO NET!

Carlos

[to his camera] Okay. Logan, Bitters and I are gonna sleep out here in the lobby to try to catch the ghost.

Logan

There are no ghosts.

Logan

Dude!

Hear that? It was the ghost.

Carlos

[turns back around to the camera] Bitters just ripped one.

James

Except...I spent so much time helping Logan...I never got a chance to ask anybody to the dance.

Uh, no...you asked me.

Uh no, he asked me.

No, he hit me with a flying dance disk!

NO, HE ASKED ME!

James

Oh...maybe I did ask a few girls out. (they all glare at him angrily) Ladies! I'm a, i'm a go get some punch, you want- (they get riled and chase him out of the room while yelling) UAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

...He'll be fine!

Carlos

We've been in L.A. for six months. When are we going to meet some totally hot and cool celebrity like Jordin Sparks?

Excuse me? I'm looking for Mr. Bitters?

[start getting up and look at the magazine cover then at Jordin Sparks]

Kendall

We knocked Jordin Sparks down a well!

Carlos

Nobody panic! I'm sure that Jordin is fine. [takes a coin out] I wish that Jordin is okay. [throws the coin down the well]

OW!

Kendall

It's 95 degrees out, WHY is Bitters the only one in the pool? [Bitters waves to them]

Hey guys! Check out the sign.

Carlos

[reading the sign near the pool] Adult swim? No kids allowed?!?!

Logan

That's just plain rude!

Kendall

No, no no no no. You guys are reading it wrong! [he pulls out a marker] It says, "Adult swim? No, kids allowed!" [he uses the marker to change it to that. Everyone else jumps into the pool]

Carlos

Yo, Gustav! I want a solo on the next album or record.

And, his new name is Jennifer!

Carlos

Okay, maybe not that, but the band's name is now Carlos and the Rush.

Carlos

(after he tells the Jennifers that they're in the music video, he looks at the other three boys and tries to hypnotize them with his watch) You are not mad at me. You are not mad at me...

Logan

Yes we are! (Jo is passing by with a suitcase and looks upset)

Kendall

No! Oh, no no no no no no no. (he runs up to her)

Kendall, I need your help.

Kendall

You can be in our video!

Really?

Kendall

Yep.

I was just going to see if you could fix this squeaky wheel, but...thanks. [she kisses him on the cheek, but the others look at him displeased]

Kendall

Okay, so I panicked!

Gustavo

Boys...as you start to get famous, people will start to ask you for favors. Like a fashion photographer, that wants to direct a ROCK video, even though he has no experience.

Marcos

So Marcos get the job?!

Gustavo

No. (Marcos looks upset) You see what I did there? Even when Marcos starts crying (which he does), I still say...A NO. (Marcos continues crying) Now, go tell your friend that she's NOT IN THE VIDEO!!!

Carlos

(trying to hypnotize Gustavo with his watch) She WILL be in the video...she WILL be in the video...

Gustavo

Get OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!(Carlos backs up)

Big Time Rush...all alone. Nobody else! On the tallest building...in the sanseis.

Carlos

I'm afraid of heights.

Logan

I hate tall buildings.

Kendall

Nosebleed!

James

I get nauseous when I stand up! (he stands up, then faints)

Gustavo

NEXT!

They're in a magical underwater city...without girls.

Logan

Can't swim.

Kendall

Me neither.

Carlos

I'm afraid of sharks! (hides)

James

I get nauseous just drinking water! (drinks some out of a cup and faints)

Gustavo

NEXT!

Carlos

We are so dead.

James

Yep.

Kendall

Which is WHY we need to find a crazy, creative Hollywood director who will put Camille, the Jennifers, AND Jo in the video.

Logan

Oh, YEAH, like it's just gonna walk RIGHT through the front door. (BUDAH BOB enters with a plunger)

James

That could work too...

Camille

Wait...you only have a learner's permit.

Yeah, don't you need an adult in the car?

(thumping on the trunk of the car) LET ME OUT OF HERE!

WE'RE GOOD!