Hey, check this out, Butt-head. Fryer, fryer, FRYER!!!
Beavis...
Oh yeah. Fryer!
T
Hey, that's not fair, that dude doesn't have to wear a hairnet!
Yeah. Maybe we should get a job at this place.
Yeah really, it's like, you don't have to like, pay attention to the customers, and you just sit around and goof off.
We could put the hairnets on our nads.
Yeah yeah. I mean, that's what I do anyways, but I also have to put one on my hair.
You put a hairnet on your nads?
Yeah, yeah. You know, they're free.
[sings along] Hey old miner, how come you're drinking red wine at Shakey's...
This is stupid.
The The, I Saw the Light
[Video shows sky-angle footage of New York City]
Um, this looks like the opening to that show, that late night...
Yeah. It's like, "Top 10 tall places to take a crap off of."
That's kinda disgusting.
[Matt Johnson walks among the edge of a tall building]
Whoa! You think he's really up there on that building like that?
Uh...no. People don't do that anymore. It's like, they have computers and they just like, fake it.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Nobody has any balls anymore.
Whoa, you think he's gonna jump?
Uh...no, and I don't care either.
You know what would be really cool? Is like, if he took a leak from up there.
Yeah! He should take two dumps, one leak, cut the cheese, and then he should jump. That would rule! Yeah!
Butt-head, this reminds me of that movie I saw, that...Crocodile Dumbdee, and um...I was just gonna say, um, he's from...down under. You know, down under?
Okay Beavis, I get it. Down under.
You know, this is kind of like that movie with The Beatles in it, where they're playing on the roof.
Oh yeah. I saw that on the Discovery Channel. The Beatles suck!
Yeah, really. How come everybody likes them so much?
I don't know.
Maybe it's because they were handsome. You should try to get in The Beatles. I heard they had an opening.
"Opening." [Cackles]
Tiffany, I Think We're Alone Now
This is mall music.
Yeah. She has to play in a mall because she sucks.
Hey Beavis, who do you think would win in a fight between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson?
Debbie Gibson would kick her butt. She'd kick her!
She should join a gang, like Wilson Phillips.
Yeah. Who do you think would win in a fight between Wilson Phillips and The Bangles?
Uh...you're the expert, Beavis.
Shut up, Butt-head!
One chick from L7 alone could kick all of their asses combined.
Toadies, Possum Kingdom
[singing along] Make up your mind…
I already made up my mind; this sucks.
Well, now, come on, give it a chance.
Whoa, is that a body?
Uhh, yeah I think so.
You think they killed somebody just to make this video?
They should have killed the people who made it.
I wonder what that would be like, you know, to die.
Uhh, well, you're gonna find out someday.
[imitating Cornholio] Are you threatening me? I will never die.
No, I'm serious, Beavis. It's like, you know, you start to get all old and stuff.
Yeah, really? What else?
Uhh, I think you start, like, losing control of your wee-wee.
Uhh, what else?
Uhh, then you, like, start pooping a lot, and you, like, lose the grip of your butt.
AHHH, I'M GONNA DIE!!!
Yeah. You're old.
So, um, Butt-head, what would do, like, if I died?
I'd probably, like, move over to the middle of the couch. It's more comfortable.
Tricky, Black Steel
Uhh...uhh...hey, it's that dude.
What dude?
You know, that pilot dude. That one who was like, in a plane and he got shot down over Bogna-Hersnaslovignia. And he's like, a hero and stuff cause he killed all his enemies, and then he lived off bugs for a whole year.
He lived off BUGS???
Yeah. That was all he could get to eat, because like, you know, it was somewhere over in Europe, and they don't have Burger World.
Wow, that's cool, you know, because I've gone for a few days like that, you know, but then I usually have some nachos and stuff in between meals, so it doesn't really count.
MTMartina Topley-Bird
But a brother like me begun, to be another one...
Uhh, she just called herself a brother.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, she's calling herself a brother, and she's not a dude, and she's not even black!
Uhh, yeah she is. She's like, you know, one of the Cosby kids.
Ohh. So I guess...oh yeah, she is black.
I think the message of this video is like, that the army kicks ass.
Yeah. "Today's army trains you with the skills you need to get ahead in today's world!"
Tripping Daisy, I Got A Girl
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.