Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

These dudes need to quit screwing around and get back to making sandwiches.

Beavis

But it is kind of a good song, like, if you kinda listen to it for a while, it is pretty cool.

Butt-head

Beavis, you bunghole! Quit talking about this video and do something funny again.

Beavis

Okay, check this out. [blows a huge raspberry]

Butt-head

That's not even funny, Beavis. You have to do it like this. [puts his finger between his lips and babbles] A-blblblblblblblblblbl.

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

Now see, that's cool.

Beavis

Yeah, I see what you mean. Okay, check this out. [babbles] A-blblblblblblblblblbl.

Butt-head

Hey Beavis, this guy sounds like you.

Beavis

Shut up, fartknocker!

If you think that I'm a loser...

Beavis

He is a loser!

Butt-head

This guy sucks!

Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up!

Beavis

[mocking him] Push th' little pansies and make 'em come up! Push th' little pansies and make 'em come up!

Butt-head

That was cool.

Beavis

Um...this is like...um, some show, right?

Butt-head

Uh...of course it is, buttmunch! It's on TV.

Beavis

No but um...I don't think this is a video.

Butt-head

They don't play many videos anymore. It's all like...shows, and people snowboarding and stuff.

Beavis

I think this is...I think this is like, Happy Days.

Butt-head

Yeah. Crappy days.

Beavis

That was pretty funny, Butt-head. Instead of Happy Days, you called it Crappy Days.

Beavis

One, two, three, four, a shmeagol! A schlong! A zapadun incorporated!

Butt-head

We're gonna do it!

Beavis

Give us any chance, we'll take it!/Give us any rule, we'll break it! We're gonna make it/we're not gonna break it/all we need is a little bit of patience!

Butt-head

I liked this show better when that other dude owned the restaurant...that dude from The Karate Kid.

Beavis

Oh yeah. [Fake Japanese accent] Daniel-san, if answer come from inside you, always right!

Butt-head

Yeah. That dude could kick Fonzie's ass.

Beavis

Yeah. Fonzie doesn't even know karate.

Butt-head

These dudes were like...always calling each other nerds and stuff.

Beavis

Yeah, I wonder why.

Butt-head

Uh...I think that was back in the old days before they invented words like nads and buttmunch and dumbass.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. Things are a lot better now.

Butt-head

Yeah, buttmunch. You know what else they were always saying? "Sit on it."

Beavis

Sit on what...? What? Oh yeah! This is a pretty cool show.

Butt-head

Rock!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah!

Butt-head

Yes!

Beavis

[sings along] You hobo fumpin' humpin', [forgets the words] ah, ah...bitch!

Butt-head

This kinda like, ah, rocks.

Beavis

Yeah, it's not bad.

Butt-head

Check out that dude in the dress. He's groovin'.

Beavis

[the lead singer can be seen looking at the crotches of several shirtless men] Whoa, check it out, Butt-head, she's inspecting their nads.

Butt-head

Yeah. You call those nads, sir? Drop and give me twenty!

Beavis

Yeah, back in line!

Butt-head

He's pretending to feel her butt.

Beavis

She won't let him feel her butt because like, he failed the nad inspection.

Beavis

Whoa! She just licked that dude's armpit!

Butt-head

Yeah. The guy with the best nads gets his armpit licked.

Butt-head

I bet this chick would like, be into me and stuff because like, you know, she has braces.

Beavis

She's probably got one of those overbites.

Butt-head

Uh, I wish she'd give me an overbite.

Beavis

Whoa, look at that! I didn't know chicks in videos wore underpants!

Butt-head

Beavis, if I ever catch you looking at my woman's drawers again, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Beavis

She's not your woman, Butt-head! She's never even seen you.

Butt-head

Dammit Beavis, this chick loves me, and I love her.