Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

This sucks. Change it.

Butt-head

No way. Check out this chick.

Butt-head

If you sat on her head, would it scratch your butt?

Beavis

Yeah. This sucks. Change it.

Beavis

If I was, like, old enough to drink and I was in a bar and I saw these guys, I'd sit down next to 'em and say, "Hey, how's it goin', man?"

Butt-head

Yeah! And then they'd kick your ass.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head, I could take these guys.

Butt-head

Oh yeah?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

Yeah, right.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head.

Butt-head

Whoa! I could be wrong, but I think I saw a naked chick.

Beavis

Really? You mean on the TV?

Butt-head

No, buttmunch! In the TV.

Beavis

You mean, like, inside, like, where the tubes are and stuff?

Butt-head

What's your problem, Beavis? Okay, look at the TV. You see those guys?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

That's where I saw the naked chick!

Beavis

Um...but that's just a bunch of guys.

Butt-head

Dammit, Beavis! Are you stupid?

Beavis

Yeah.

Beavis

[sees a female mannequin hanging from a rope] That chick is really hung.

Butt-head

That wasn't funny! Dumbass!

Butt-head

How come they didn't let that dude back in Duran Duran?

Beavis

'Cause he sucks.

Butt-head

This guy thinks he's, like, smart.

Beavis

Yeah. College music sucks.

Butt-head

I think it's only cool if you, like, go to college.

Butt-head

Whoa! This is that chick with those big hooters!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah! [imitating Dolly Parton] WORKING NINE TO FIVE! IT'S THE WAY TO MAKE A LIVING!

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis!

I know I've got some stiff competition...

Butt-head

Stiff competition?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. She's talking about us. Yeah.

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis. This just goes to show you that some things never go out of style.

Beavis

You mean, like, country music?

Butt-head

No, dumbass! I mean big hooters.

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

This is like, one of those commercials where you don't know what it's for.

Beavis

Yeah, what is it for?

Butt-head

I think it's that one where guy's like, "When disaster strikes, you want to be covered."

Beavis

No no, that one has that guy who used to be president before Obama.

Butt-head

Oh, it's another one of those boner drug commercials.

Beavis

Oh yeah yeah.

Butt-head

"Everyday, millions of Americans can't get wood."

Beavis

"Ask your doctor is Levitan is right for you. Side effects may kick ass."

Butt-head

"Levitan may cause excessive vomiting, double vision, blurriness, dizziness, confusion..."

Beavis

"And a boner that goes on for four hours."

Butt-head

That would be cool.

Butt-head

Whoa! She's almost naked!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. And she has nails coming out of her arms.

Butt-head

This chick's a good singer 'cause she hardly wears any clothes.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. And she's holding a bomb.

Butt-head

Chicks are cool.

Butt-head

This video has, like, explosions, and like, half-naked chicks.

Beavis

Yeah. And fire!

Butt-head

Yeah. And TVs getting smashed, and screaming. It's got something for everyone.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

YES! YES!

Butt-head

YES!

Beavis

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Butt-head

Now that really was cool!

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

Uh, what's she so pissed off about?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. "Look at all you people with your, with your grilled cheese sandwiches, and your, your milk and your vitamin D. It fills me with rage!"

Beavis

These people don't seem too into it.

Butt-head

Yeah, they're like, "Another band raged through here yesterday. We're all raged out."

Beavis

"Yeah, but did they go through the library, the cafeteria?"

Butt-head

"Yup. Same route. The cafeteria, the gym, they showed up the cheerleaders..."